"I keep them on my work table to inspire me and restore my cheer when I am low."

Distilled Hater Tears.

Best postscript in a personal letter, ever.

Sorry, Mark. Pretty misleading. Looks like all he did was joke back when she made a silly typo. She shut him down, for sure, but I was expecting a lot more than "It can be ;)" as a "pickup". Pretty weak.

My tip for buying from them is getting any of the overstock dresses they have. I scored a really cute brown dotted dress a while back that's still in my closet and it was roughly 30 bucks. Took forever to arrive though.

Dear god, Anna.

Hi Robby! Thanks for stopping by! One small correction: I don't think you've ever "reported" a goddamn thing in your life. (And because I know you're going to do this, either here or in my Twitter mentions, which you and your friends are currently stink-clouding up with your Feelings, I have a master's degree in…

I don't believe that Chicago exists. I have never been there; no one I know has ever been there (except for my friend Jackie who changed planes at O'Hare, but she said it was real snowy so it could have been a different airport covered in white paint); "Chicago" is a funny word and "City of Broad Shoulders" rings real…

"something about this story doesn't feel right."

Meh. I expected worse

My wife wants there to be a pygmy elephant. One that only gets around the size of a big dog or so. She says her life would be complete if she could have one as a pet.

He doesn't look like a "goober" there. He looks '80s hot. This just makes me love him more.

It was a perfectly dignified tree when it was planted in the ground, in the wild, where it belongs. #christmastreesaremurder

And at this point, I say embrace it. Wrap a blue blanket around the base, hang a giant red ball off of the tip, and play Snoopy vs. The Red Baron on a loop. I'd check it out in a heartbeat.

I feel weirdly bad for an inanimate tree now.

I felt a rise of anger at the Bruce Jenner representation, and thinking of J-Law's forever-destroyed privacy. But what really got me steaming is HOW LITTLE THAT DOG LOOKS LIKE SLEEPING BEAUTY. It's now even more insulting that it took them so long to demonstrate Callie's Gandalf rabbit.

And I assume you're making do with the absolute bare minimum in all other ways- you're eating nothing but noodles, living out of a tent, and using a bonfire for heating. Otherwise, you don't have a leg to stand on.

The power your computer consumed while you typed this comment could have provided light for 13 orphans to learn to read. You monster.

I wish (and would). <3 Idris <3

What about Harry Potter? Without Hermione, Harry and Ron would be dead by the end of first year.