This is just like when I found a tutorial for DIY cut off denim shorts.

Count me in, these tweets are exquisite.

Can we do ceremonies and share meals as well? Can we honor St. Pippin, the Patron Saint of Second Breakfast? And night swimming? I love night swimming!

I like to do jazz hands and say, “ta-da!” when I enter a room. I also sometimes say a little,”ding!” when I give a extra big smile and perform impromptu fake tap dances before thanking a group.

Yeah, that guy’s rage was terrifying. Much more than any horror movie.

I’m proud to say that I didn’t immediately think Dr Orchid was a man, although how much of it was influenced by the knowledge that they all have kinda campy names and Orchid seems feminine, I don’t know.

Geraldo opening “Al Capones Vault”. I stayed up late for that shit. I was a kid who was told there would be treasure.

Same. Exactly. My sister thinks I am unhygienic to the point of literal disgust. I say, if HR hasn’t called me in for a discussion, and people still sit by me while eating, I must be doing ok.

No shit - just because she thinks that all angels are skinny white girls with long blond hair doesn’t mean that everyone does. I myself have only ever seen one person that I suspected of being angelic. Ironically, it’s a fat, black woman with butt-length braids who rides around my city on a chopper (maybe it’s just a…

Every time I read, “skinny white with long angel hair,” I couldn’t help but see the reverse implication that people in Zambia must all be fat black people with demon hair. Nice!

This is yet another time when I feel a little sting. I’m half Mexican and of all my half Mexican cousins, my brother and I look the “whitest.” You wouldn’t visually peg either of us as Mexican, even though we grew up in a big family, rich with Mexican heritage. I have always seen myself as a minority and it’s only in…

Perfect - I’m marrying Swearengen.

I meant that I would not vote for president and would vote on other things according to my own beliefs. I don’t think a liberal utopia is quite the end goal I envision, nor can I immediately envision any specific end goal.

Plus, this wasn’t like normal steam venting......they weren’t expressing frustrations, they were talking shit about kids. If the kid can’t spell, guess whose fault that is for not being a good teacher? Yeah, I know they can’t be responsible for every child’s total learning history or anything - but you’d like to think…

Jesus......can you imagine as a parent watching someone handle your child like that? I feel furious and I don’t even have kids. It’s just insane, there’s no possible excuse. She’s half his size and I’m pretty sure doesn’t have a gun in her bikini. Not to mention she’s a CHILD.

Same - I’m not a Clinton fan, but I’m not sure anyone is worse than Trump. I wasn’t even going to bother voting, but you’re right, we should really use this as an opportunity to learn about the hard truth of voting. Don’t use your vote to make a stand, because if you do and we end up like Britain.....ugh.

Exactly. And I’ll admit that there is a gray area where both participants are fucked up, still happy, and participating - yet there may still be issues of whether or not someone was too drunk to consent. But this is clearly not that gray area. There is no amount of privileged upbringing that mistakenly teaches you…

Ryan Gosling would make a great Simon, so yeah, it could definitely be more Canadian.

This is like an ultra convergence of my childhood. Ghostbusters and Ski Patrol (starring Paul Weig) were two of the most watched movies of my childhood. If either Michael Douglas or Kathleen Turner (Romancing the Stone) were to be involved it would have been a trifecta of childhood perfection.

I agree - just because it’s not a deeply thoughtful and poignant tweet, doesn’t make the thought behind it insincere. Who among us expects deeply thoughtful and poignant from KK? It sounds like me whining to my girlfriends about the same issue. KK just has a nation of “girlfriends.”