Seriously. If I can't shoot a Nazi in the face, its not a game. And since those assholes from the Sheriff's department took away my guns, games are all I have now.

Retirement DUAN:

Any time you see those idiotic "DON'T BUY GAS TODAY" protests.

That's like saying Freddie Mercury died of botulism (bad meat in the can).

Any movie where Steve Guttenberg dies in the first twenty minutes is OK by me.

Tim Duncan is thinking of filling the time during the lockout with an exciting stint as a technical writer for appliance corporations.

Turns out he was suffering a severe stroke. If only Tedy's Team had branches in South America...

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa. +1.

I'm still waiting for my crepes in pill form. "The future is now" my ass.

Its not racist. Its just the stupidest fucking thing I've ever witnessed in my life. And yes, I've seen the new 'Transformers' movie.

"Pffffffff, who cashes a check for $1 million?"

I untied my girl's green ribbon the first time the pot roast was overseasoned.

Beyond epic. I remember that whole fiasco.

The last thing a box of Sliders sees before it dies.

You know Jordan's got $40,000 riding on that game of Ms. Pac Man.

Imma use the road flares from my emergency roadside kit.

I found the part where JoePA talked about how "the Comanche ain't to be trusted" riveting, personally.

Birthday DUAN:

Was Special Agent Jack Bauer in attendance?

Ahhhhhh Yakety Sax......