I’ve always felt that one of the most subtle things bungie has done has been their world building through the grimoire cards. Instead of forcing you read a massive amount of backstory and text in the game itself, they gave you the option to read awesome little stories like this in your own time, when you feel like it.

Thats a cloaca right there. Sexy.

I’m sure that at the time, this was a horrifying and awful event - but you have to admit, when you read that paragraph out loud, that’s goddamn HILARIOUS. Your whole family got pinked by a single bear, just doing it’s thing.

See, if they'd just turned whatever the hell that was into an actual game, I would buy and play the shit out of that!

You should capitalize “Dream Hampton” - for some reason her name appears in lower case letters every time it used in this story.

That also happens to be the title of my upcoming memoir.

“...Sexier than STD’s all over you face.”

I don’t care if it’s pretty and looks kind of like a babe-

There is absolutely nothing sexier than when a partner nibbles your earlobe, breathes heavily on your neck and says in a breathless whisper

From now on, I will exclusively refer to getting stoned as “visiting the seventh sky”

Akira:

How can this NOT be the new photoshop contest? Any early submissions :)?

I just peed a little.

I originally was super skeptical about the new battlefront game because it was purported to have NO space combat - but now.

Bam. Sold. Take my money please.

You’re doing it the perfect way :) I keep telling all my newbie friends who started playing since House of Wolves dropped - the game just keeps getting better and better and more solid and more entertaining. Trust that most of us chumps have already sat through all the most awful, tedious parts of the…

So ... you didn’t finish the book, but feel compelled to comment on it? Word.

Also you fought space dinosaurs in another dimension, let’s not forget the magic

you mean the lettah “ah”

..testing positive for stanozolol in April...

Whew, good thing everyone stopped talking about the time that NFL playered punched the SHIT out of his wife on camera, or when that other dude beat the SHIT out his children.

Glad we’re focused on what’s truly important to the game. Ball pressure.

Goals for my character in the new Fallout game:

1. Punch a super mutant in the face in Fenway park - while yelling “NOMAAAH!”

2. Rail-shooting baddies on a duck boat.

3. Sneaking into the aquarium ... potential zombie penguins?

Wow that looks stunningly good! I’ve been hoping since Blue and Red came out that someday, somehow, we’d get a gorgeous open world pokemon game ... a person can dream, right?

Pixelmon did something similar but WAY more low-tech graphically. Its mine craft with fully realized pokemon and battling etc. Great to get a…