I love it, but there’s no way in hell he spells “Alabama” correctly once, let alone five times in a row.

How many of us Splinter readers could afford to have been beach-house owners? Who is this for?  

None of his followers do. 

Trump is a part-time president who fucks up full-time. 

Well, she’s only a 5. 

Jury’s still out on the billionaire part. 

And in other news, 348 kids were killed in the aftermath of playing Bloody Mary.

That’s the weird thing, BangBros is the last porn producer I’d expect this from. They’re one of the more misogynistic ones. Now X-Art, that wouldn’t be a surprise.

This explains country music and Nashville :

It’s amazing, with over 500 million in sales I can’t believe this has never actually happened. Real spells, right there! That many people missed it!

The fuck kind of porn are you watching?

Now that Rutger Hauer is dead, who would we get to star in Carny Justice?

As long as it’s called Carny Justice, I’m in.

I live near Wildwood NJ, which as you would expect from a boardwalk on the Jersey shore is stacked with carny style games of “skill” to win prizes. We often take our kiddos to the rides and of course, they want to play the games and win a giant Pokemon or whatever.

I’m now left with the lingering mental image of someone being hog-tied to the front of a bumper car as part of an interrogation.

Damnit. Charles Bronson is dead and Cannon is out of business. We need a Death Wish 6 like you wouldn’t believe.

OK, now I need a graphic novel about a vigilante enacting carny justice.

Entirely unfunny and filled with a self-righteous, barely contained anger at everything around him

I think you’re looking at it wrong. Instead of “why aren’t conservatives good at art”, it’s more “why are most artists liberal”. Similar questions, but different framing. And there are quite a few reasons, I think.

It’s about time Funny or Die starts living up to its name