Good lawd. Headline:

Hey, here’s a funny anecdote: The name of his song is “Antidote”.

Yikes. Looks like someone’s getting a stocking full of ratios this Christmas.

A more callous person would say his analogy doesn’t have a leg to stand on...

Ah. So, this is the car that should have been in Kanye’s “Flashing Lights” video:

Humbly submitted for your approval: Sizzaltines.

HA!! OK, you’ve inspired me: This holiday season, I’m donating Douglas Adams’ paperbacks & single-malts. Surely some Chicagoland food bank or Goodwill is willing to turn a blind eye, stock the shelf and deck the halls.

I like your style. We’re gonna be friends.

Nice, and happy holiday tipples to you! BTW, the cream portion of Sheridans is white chocolate-based, so it’s got you covered. (Honestly, liquor is the only acceptable use of white chocolate). Just pop a thumb over the dark-side spigot and enjoy.

If your bottle of cordials has been hanging around for 2+ years, then it’s probably just not a cordial you enjoy. Feel free to toss it sans guilt...

Ha! Mabye this is the moment when the Apple TouchBar finally earns its keep.

My heart screams NP — if only to wrench on it next to my 92-X, showing it what true Saabdom looks like — but reason whispers softly: ND.

Maybe it’s just that my cup of fuckshit hath runneth over, but maybe before her mediation, maybe Mlle. Evans should, um, catch some hands?

Ohioans. Montanans. Californians. Indianans. Parts-Unknown-ians. Hear ye, hear ye:

If some enterprising Brit doesn’t spin this into a garishly-packaged product called Yay-O-Rings which are just funnelcake-style powdered onion rings, then I’m calling dibs, ®, ©, ™, or whatever.

Much respect for going with the Chicago-based Sears option. There was also some significant shuckin’ power to be found in the ‘72 NuTone and RonCo products; the former of which required the same leaded 88-octane mix as an Evinrude 25202R outboard motor, and the latter of which had a foot-actuated carburetor and the…

Butterscotch, chupacabra, vapors; and Godspeed, Michael.

How does Florida, the third-most populous US state, have no inspection reqs? Jacksonville alone must have the world’s preponderance of flood cars, junkers losing whole wheel assemblies on the highway, and salt-eaten shitboxes littering alleyways. Guess Florida stays too busy constantly badgering the rest of the states…

Excellent reference, and I’m sure just the first of many rock-band retrofits, a la:

Purdue, eh? I dunno, I’d have expected a more steam-powered solution out of them. Maybe let Middle Tennessee State U give it a shot...