Yikes. 8-year-old this dude is screaming “Ma, look, I made it! I made it! Wait ‘til Dad comes back with his smokes!”

Can confirm from SW Lake County: Vernon Hills is still solid — speed & quality are well-balanced, and access is easier than Golf Road (Schaumburg). Depending on where the day takes us, there’s usually a Portillo’s in play and en route.

For new spinners, here’s the gist of SPDs: You can push the pedals down AND pull the pedals up. Two motions, twice the efficiency, half the fatigue, engaging quads and hams. What’s not to love?

So, she’s just gonna Munn this into a ditch, eh? Very on-brand for Team Rodgers.

Working on the campaign posters now:

“Form tackle”.

Ah! It’s been centuries since last I saw Viers Beach. Such a velcoming haunt! Look, I vas so handsome then.

Position?: Butterchurn, natch’.

kinja’d!

Hm. I’m hearing a lot of words out there — rough, emotional, hard-nosed, even unnecessary. But you know what word I haven’t heard yet?...

I’m Team Canned Sauce, son. The rest of you punks can get down or bow down.

Emmett Till would like to have a word with you all.

Infuriating. What’s the possible upside of shirking testing requirements, just to satisfy some vainglorious itch to outwit your own military’s defense?

Yo momma’s so big... she doesn’t just leave the house, she sets sail.

I’m gonna boil this mess down to two things:

Hm, confused. Why should Christians be wary of something called Luciferase? Sounds like it would erase the Lucifer, which I honestly expect is a post-700 Club infomercial already:

Hells yeah. Did this a few times from Thanksgiving of 2019 through the <booming echo-voice> Winter of the Before-Times. It was the only way the family would continue to tolerate my weird Brussels sprout kick.

Hoo. These “It’s the Remix to [word that rhymes with Ignition]” headlines are one-liner g-g-g-g-gold. Thanks for bringing some levity to this horror show.

Hey MAGAts — Next time you want to complain about high taxes, government spending and Washington wasting your money, include this guy in your rant:

Just a word of warning: ‘Tap to Click’ is the bane of every IT risk team downstream from CISO. The phrases I was just hovering over the link and I really didn’t mean to click it are staples of breach debriefs. The thought of making it a default?? Hot take, Mr. Pathak.