Cropped and fully-pixellated hand (left) and face (right). The Horror.

+ (then -) 1

So I assume Smashing Pumpkins will be playing the launch party tonight, tonight?

Thank you, Ms. Carroll, for fond memories of Mom and my aunties turning on their nastiest Ms. Devereauxes at any schmuck with the bad luck, taste, timing, or grace to cross them.

Simply wonderful parody. Finally, something McRib-related and palatable.

That.. map.. is.. the.. balls. But damn Maggie Lee for citing her sources; I’m already in a github-hole.

All of this. Our Icelandic honeymoon in 2006 kicked off a near-religious habit of weekend smörgåsbords of smoked salmon, cod/whitefish, eggs, sourdough & carraway toasts, onions, cheeses, berries, and skyr— screw Greek yogurt; we need it thicc.

For any suit, a belt should skew toward form over function, more so when properly tailored. But we’re talking about Jack Burkman; a man who couldn’t spell bespoke with a four-letter handicap; a man whose spare shirt buttons, I guarantee, are still sewn to his hemline.

From 10:30 of the video, accuser responding about how much he got paid:

Serious question: What political alchemy turns the seemingly-skeptical young lady at left into [squints] Kathy Shank & her I don’t know who Tommie Smith is fist? Because it’s the key to figuring out 2020.

when you remember that one of the last times they held a press conference, Burkman’s fly was down the whole time.

So, the headline is basically “Minnesotan Infants React To Spicy Food”? Meh. Remember: The Mississippi ends in Cajun Country but starts in Lutheran Land. 

+ 1 chef (who smokes while cooking your meal)’s kiss

Honestly, first time hearing about Boaty McB, so the headline photo had me wondering “Wha? Who’s slinging insults at Lady Kate?” Not my type, but she’s objectively attractive and by all accounts well-regarded. Though, I prefer to imagine her with a cartoonishly thick Cockney accent:

And you just know the carpet keel matches the drapes gunwale.

I’m pushing hard for Adam to embrace it and just go with Adam “Schwifty” Schiff, a.k.a Reprezentativo Bulldops.

“I would prefer not to.”

Oooh, I was pleading for the reporter to ask, “Gladly, and uh, what’s the Finnish President’s name again, sir?” [Cue ‘Tucker Carlson-face’]

Breaking News: Local Man Enraged When Free-Market Freely Markets Based on Talent Instead of Nepotism

Hey, these are dark times. Gotta treasure the good bits every day.