As a gluten-free vegetarian, and who honestly has real issues with eating wheat, I am dedicated this gif to the carcass-lady. Because she makes the rest of us look like idiots, and worse, people take celiac less seriously.

Restaurant/cafe I worked at in college: I'm waiting tables* graduation weekend (the busiest weekend of the year), and one of my tables, who have thus far been fairly reasonable, flag me down.

With that last one, I was waiting to see what the customers had mistaken for bread, and I just don't understand how you take a bite of a fried *vegetable* and think, "man this is delicious bread." HOW?!?!?

I really wish you could just follow me around in life making comments and observations on various things. I would never be bored again.

Many moons ago, I rekindled an awesomely steamy relationship with an ex, only to find out two weeks into it that he was living with a new girlfriend. He picked me up one night, we went out, then as he was driving me home I asked him to stop at a convenient store for cigarettes. When we got to my house, I told him that…

I did something similar when that happened to me. I found out I was the other woman on Christmas morning (from a newsletter from his parents and their temple congratulating him on his nuptials). He just didn't want to tell me and wanted to string me along. Immediately broke it off, refused to talk to him, and when I…

Yah, I will give her a 4 out of 10. Maybe a 5 for posting on social media.

Yup my favourite revenge story was the lady of the local manor who raided her husband's multimillion pound wine cellar and left bottles on all the villagers doorsteps. That my friends is class.

I was serving a grandfather and his teenage grandson. The kid asked for a bowl of chili, at which point I explained that we were out of chili, apologized (why we as servers have to do this, I don't know, but we do) and told him the other soups we had available. The kid said, "But I wanted the chili." Ok, well,…

"Now, that first story might not seem to be some huge righteous vengeance,..."

The best part was that when my mom came to get me after I got fired (I was 16 — I couldn't drive myself yet!) she wanted to stop by the mall on the way home. There was a fancy new store that sold tapes and CDs (! — hey, this was 1986!) opening up, and they were setting up the store. In a fit of bravado I asked if they…

Best.

she would appeal any cat decision "on the question of whether a cat is capable of love."

Not quite the wasabi story above, but one day I was working from home when my father strolled by and spotted the wasabi peas I was absent-mindedly popping into my mouth (individually). He proceeded to grab a massive handful... and I managed to stop him only an instant before he-who-never-eats-spicy-food got a nuclear…

I have an interesting one from the perspective of a server.

I quit that night. Both youth group, and my job. (Editor's Note: This is the most entertainingly-written story I've ever received)

I see the picture of breadsticks. Something inside me snaps. I look up at my boyfriend.

Breadstick guy gets all of the points.

I just checked to make sure I had enough whiskey to get through reliving some nightmares and it looks like we are good to go.

I really don't get that. Like at all. If someone tells me they need to [insert bodily function of any sort], I believe them. Mostly because I have no interest in hearing more details about your urine, feces, blood (period or otherwise), snot, breast milk, vomit, or anything else coming out of your body. If you make it…