Also, fuck your ex’s “old friend” for being such a rotten sack of shit, I kind of just want to add that as it seems quite important. The kid evidently got the right dad in the end, no matter where the DNA came from.

It’s great that you were there for her, thank you for taking the time to explain that to me! I evidently skim read too enthusiatically and missed the proof of your excellent implimentation of the ol’ pull out & pray! :)

It was and remains the most mesmerising, alluring package that ever graced the silver screen.

There is no god.

Oh god what I would give to tickle that fuzzy tummy.

Was the child yours or her rapist’s (assuming that by “was raped” you are not meaning by yourself), and by “first” do you mean of many or using the term to allude that whilst you’ve split from your ex, you have the one child and plan to have other children with other partners in the future?

I hadn’t seen that H&O one before. You’ve made my weekend.

I am in the position of being able to repeat YOUNG white man....

Surely Jesus will magically guide those pesky sperms away to safety?

I am actually speechless with impress here.

Nope, she was unlikeable on many fronts. I ended up being her only friend out of pity, even though she constantly copied my work and wasn’t a particularly nice person. Only I could end up being the friend of a deeply unlikeable weirdo who wanked all the time.

Nope, she was unlikeable on many fronts. I ended up being her only friend out of pity, even though she constantly…

Yup. In typical English style, all the teachers were too embarrassed to deal with it and only refered to it as “daydreaming” when trying to get her to stop. We’re also talking from nursery right up to the day she left high school. She even kept going when kids started to realise what was going on and started giving…

Yup. In typical English style, all the teachers were too embarrassed to deal with it and only refered to it as…

I briefly wondered about what a person would look like hammering this little doohicky at work, then realised that it *probably* would be something similar to a common sight when I was at school - the common sight being this one girl who used to use the corner of her chair to masturbate in class.

I briefly wondered about what a person would look like hammering this little doohicky at work, then realised that it…

This photograph captures the precise second that Iggy’s interaction chip shorted. Seconds later, she could be seen saying “bmdib, bmdib, bmdib” as smoke poured out from her maintainence panel.

I should add that given that “trump” is a common British euphemism for fart, calling someone a Donald Trump is extra funny for us.

The gift of creative insulting is the gift that keeps on giving, a bit like herpes.

Use your new weapon well, kind knight, for the earth has not previously known such force.

It is wonderful for the creative side, is it not?

Youu know, I don’t get why cunt is used as a slur so much. Cunts are great places, they feel great and make people happy. If you really wanted to insult someone, use something that everyone hates, like infected haemorrhoid or herpes.

Must be cold out there on the catwalk.