That quote opening is something. Was someone accusing bed bugs of racism?

Wilhite is wrong if you take the t off the word gift it doesn't change how you pronounce the first 3 letters together. 

It’s not often that the creator of something is wrong about his own creation.

GIF. “gift” without the “t”

Over ear Airpod...

“I Bought a Submerged Tahoe for $275 and I Nearly Became a Eunuch Trying to Get it Home.”

Enhance....

Meanwhile, David Tracy...

I’ll pass on calling dibs. Few things are more humiliating than being underwater on a Hyundai.

At least here in the States, you can use substitutes for the sides/accent items/garnishes, but the main product must be the real thing:

I’m trying to buy it.

Fingerprints on hood better than other prints on hood.   Or maybe not.

$8000 to make your car look ridiculous.

Bartender... Sorry, “mixologist,” slash-model.

The traffic is forced. While you sit there and enjoy your coffee, a guy wearing a big sandwich board stands in front of you, blocks your vision, and won’t move until you subscribe.

Did you just assume his preferred pronoun?

We need a “guess his name” competition. I’m going with Thad.