Sometimes the trash takes itself out.

Nope. They are denied. No brunch, no Crate and Barrel registry, no tasting-spoon wedding cake, no chalkboard paint, no mason jar salad bar, no synchronized wedding party perfomances.

My people did not bring avocados from Mexico to America for this shit.

You knew it was coming!

I am SO PISSED that those stupid ass shoes have been resurrected from the trash bin of the 90s/early aughts. That specific combination - a relatively thin toe strip, a high heel, and a thin ankle strap - looks nice when you’re standing in place, but the second you begin to move, your feet slide forward because there’s…

To be fair she did have a nice jacket on for other events.

I feel like the right coat, like a red velvet trench with an enormous (faux) fur collar, wouldn’t be amiss with the whole femme fatale vibe. It would also make this a lot more fair!

I hope she had an assistant waiting right off camera with a full length coat. No one should have to brave February temperatures (especially on the waterfront!) in a sleeveless gown.

Counterpoint: dressed for rain and ass kicking while still dripping sex appeal.

This. Janelle doesn’t look good in a suit. Janelle makes suits look good.

Ugh these are all unbelievably good.

“Noir Town”.

The only thing that disappoints me about this is that it’s not an actual movie.

You don’t see a difference between debunking a magic act and pushing someone to commit murder?

The National Anthem is a terrible song to sing. It goes low, it goes high, and it’s mostly broken arpeggios.

She french fries the entire way down. I watched three times just to be sure. Doesn’t pizza even once. This woman should be on a stamp.