all due respect, you gotta tighten up your game. You are getting caught way too much.

We get it, Donald Trump. You want to fuck your daughter. Enough already.

For the purposes of this comment, I’m choosing to ignore the pernicious subtle racism of Hudson co-opting an Asian name. Instead, can we talk about how shitty his poem is?

*cough cough* Crabbe and Goyle *cough cough*

He’d be a great addition to Slytherin.

oy gay

But where does Donald stand on the Moops?

letting the commissioner do a Judge Dredd impression

I just can’t with this team anymore.

Honestly, maybe it’s for the best. I was excited about RG3 way back when, but if he keeps playing the way he has, he’ll be dead or paralyzed in ten years.

Coven Peters deserves some credit for (spoiler alert!) strangling that bitchy little actress who wouldn’t revive Zoe.

“For you, the day Washington paraded around their cheerleaders was the most embarrassing moment of your life. But for Washington fans, it was Friday.”

Someone should link Gruden to Margary’s YTS on the Redskins.

My favorite part of watching the Skins this year is that my father (an MSU grad) and I spend entire games making up incorrect names for Kirk Cousins, since everyone calls him Kurt. Lately, the name that has stuck is Curd Cuisine.

RGIII getting good and injured before the season starts. Always improving, that boy.

Not in my state! South Carolina didn’t ratify the 19th Amendment until 1969!

My favorite part is her apologizing for the entire thing if Drew/Dave/Charley is married.

As long as the rapist didn’t become a doctor at an abortion clinic, Huckabee’s conscience is clean.

“Vodka or bourbon?” is the adult version of “water or Coke?”

I didn’t know Travis Bickle wrote for the Chicago Tribune. Neat!