Mmmm, I like watching you sleep. And 365 days from now, I'm going to murder you and and eat your kidneys for dinner. It will be fun, I promise.

Of the obituary section.

Way to screw up her birthday forever after the divorce.

I feel like in theory, it does sound romantic - if done correctly. 365 reasons why we are a good couple, 365 reasons why I love you, whatever.

So you're telling me that this guy basically provided video evidence to his fiancé that she could have been engaged a whole year ago?

Why couldn't he just take a picture with each day's newspaper, like the serial killer stalker abductor that he is?

If they'd just talked about it a year ago they could be getting married in Aruba right now. SO DUMB.

Why didn't he just ask her...a year ago?? I would have just punched him in the face for taking so long. WTH.

Remember before the Internet when people just fucking proposed with a goddamn ring in a champagne glass/piece of chocolate cake/etc.?

My husband, not overly sentimental, says to me on Sunday "Aww, did you see that latest proposal video? It's cute."

At least she didn't have to make him 365 sandwiches...

Glad I'm not the only one who thought this was horrible. I hate viral proposals SO MUCH! So happy my husband thought it was import to propose to me in private instead of making it some sort of shit show.

How to make a proposal all about you 101

I am not 'Hilary Clinton.' And please stop using something I wrote to promote your goddamn album.

Wait, that one guy says he beat off #15?

Not sure which beating was worse: the one he laid on the MSU players or the one he laid on the English language.

"Mars' ocean didn't dry by accident."

I ate the biggest bagel ever, slathered in bacon scallion cream cheese. I knew I wouldn't be eating for hours and would be drinking constantly and EVERYONE ELSE was eating one. Fuck that!

I'm pretty sure the Knot's business plan is to become the ultimate proxy for The Awful Mother Who Gives So Much Advice. It is the standard-bearer for Traditional American Femininity, the kind that wears shoes that she finds unbearably painful, the one that invites a ton of people to the wedding that she doesn't like…

What about the adaptation of a section of a theme park? lol