I can’t recall why it came up but I recently told someone “I would lay down in traffic for Drew Magary.” They seemed so surprised but I was like, “Yeah no Drew is a thoughtful and generous person and I would do anything for him.” Thanks for writing this, Drew, and proving me right. (I love being right!)

Joe Flacco is elite

And ... you just gave the poor guy another burn.

a 27-year-old guy in Vero Beach who was hospitalized with second- and third-degree burns

Durant heard that Jackson was winning the argument so he’s on his side now.

fuck he’s fucking ugly.

Well, fine. Because a Venn diagram shows the common terms between two different sets.

Why the fuck are you partying??? You aren’t on the roster with the rest of these dick kickers

I grew up in West Texas in the 1960s and 1970s. My entire family is nra-approved. Last time I fired a gun twenty years ago, I was a really good shot. But, I never will understand what it is about guns that gets gun folks off. And that is what it is — I’ve lived among them all my life and I’m still amazed at the primal…

You’re not sorry, and I’m not disagreeing. I’m calling you a lying, racist, piece of shit. Oh yeah, your relatives too. Get the fuck back to Jalopnik you closet Klansman

I think there are a couple more minorities you forgot to put on your little list.

I’m a ginger, and anytime I drink milk I get the shits

If you can’t navigate your way through adult-length sentences then maybe you should get your soccer highlights somewhere else.

I worked late, then went home, got naked, drank some cheap whiskey, and then sat down in a corner and rocked myself to sleep.

Drew works from home.

It’s over 9000!

It’s enough with this guy, already. Zen Master, my hairy anus.

We are pulling out for now, but if you guys fix this... creampie!