I send my dog in first to eat up the stale chips and french fries

I’ve noticed my shipments have become a lot less reliable since Amazon started using their independent contract delivery people in my area. Every time I look at an order and see it is being shipped this way I shudder. I’d say at least 20% of orders through the independent contractors are late, and a few of them have…

Mom, is that you?

And yet there’s an ad post for Everlane on the site, which requires you to hand over your email address before you even look at their products.

“I havent used it yet, but it arrived quickly. 5 stars.”

Your will should be pretty simple.

Newsflash to any idiotic “vegetarians” that think that eating an egg is eating part of an animal, it’s not.  See, in order for it to become fertilized, a mommy chicken and a daddy chicken have to get together, and play some Barry White, and make sweet, sweet love.

No one cares.

I thought clear Band-Aids were a thing. I know you would still see the white bandage part though. It seems like a good middle ground between buying any color Band-Aids and doing research to buy the correct color.

You’re just jealous that you didn’t think of this gem of a “life hack”:

I swear to god, half the articles on here MUST be for people who can’t tie their shoes or make toast. How to clip your nails? Really?

I’m super sensitive when it comes to pot. If I just have a little, I’m cowering in the corner, weeping, wishing the experience was over soon, and I could stop thinking about every little horrible thing. But I am jealous of those who seem to enjoy it, particularly those who can really relax when high. So I thought CBD…

Next assignment: How to make Japanese mayo (Kewpie)?

So like “The food made me ill but the restroom was clean enough to throw up in.”?

Do I need this if I mostly use my phone in häns-free mode? 

Do I need this if I mostly use my phone in häns-free mode? 

Not even gonna read this. Just came here to say fuck off with that shit. It’s not a bloody ride. 

Did you guys have an editorial meeting and decided to write a pile of “Take a Undefendable Yet Firm Position on a Trivial Matter That Will Drive People to the Comments to Argue” articles? This it least the third in the series after “This Is the Proper Etiquette for Leaving a Hotel Room” and “Stop Burying Your Pets in…

HOT TAKE:

Or how about the “HAVE YOU SUBSCRIBED TO JEZEBEL/LIFEHACKER/JALOPNIK/KOTAKU/TAKEOUT NEWSLETTER”

Does it block the lifehacker email subscription pop up?  That would be something I would go for....   Really, why do you guys have that?????