Oh man, the meatloaf story, christ, the onion couldn't have written that one better.

"HULK AT PEACE AND ONENESS WITH UNIVERSE!"

Don't mind me, just waiting until ionic becomes the new ironic.

"On the Internet, nobody Predisent Trump knows you're a dog."

It really is such an infantile and frankly exhausting way to live one's life. Like, every room he's in he has to assess everyone there and figure out a way to one-up them, even if he has to reveal national secrets to show how he knows something they don't, thereby making himself the 'victor.'

@thepersonthistweetisnotabout You probably think this tweet is about you, don't you? #ThisTweetIsAboutYou
-realdonaldtrump

Don't worry, in the series finale they'll give Scully the titular line when she happens upon a mysterious filing cabinet adorned only with the letter "X."

Look at Mr. Fancy-Pants with his gourmet candy bar lunch. Guess he's too good to subsist on leftover oyster crackers and mustard & mayo packets from crew catering like the rest of the writing staff.

The XXX-Files Starring Vin Diesel and then Ice Cube.

Which is particular bullshit. Women are from Venus after all. Who better to write a show about aliens?

I think the Hawks, and the world, have been waiting for a basketball-barbershop pun crossover like that.

Now you understand the pain that all us Moon Knight fans feel not being able to cosplay as him in good conscience.

"And Trump, who is simultaneously a big strong ass-kicking manly man who can't go a day without whining about how unfair and mean everyone is to him. Sad!"

They're just taking pages from the "idiot-who-got-conned-but-doesn't-want-to-cut-their-losses-and-just-admit-they-got-conned" playbook.

I hope it can see its way to dressing a little bit sexier.

No. But I have heard of his so oft mocked baked sidekick, Wonder Bread.

At least the gift bags at the Oscars that year contained 15 lbs of red snapper.

Hot Saucerman

When asked why it took so long to be given a star, Weird Al responded "Stupid! They're SO STUPID!"

Turns out reality also died in 2016, we just didn't notice with all the other high profile deaths.