It's telling that Bannon even manages to look gross in Stephen Colbert's animated Trump segments.

Steve Bannon: the white supremacist who conveniently also serves as the best refutation of white supremacy.

His sweat probably has a high enough abv to get you buzzed if you're in the same room as him for longer than 15 minutes.

Please, please, please, let scrappybilly get what he wants.

AV Club: Come to discuss movie trailers, stay for the aggressive horse behavior analysis.

Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a horse ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!

"OK Google: Have 'Robert Maitland, Architect' killed. Also, directions to nearest Burger King."

You know the thing about horses? They're the fiercest killers in the animal kingdom.

The only thing that will stop a bad guy who is worse than Hitler is a good guy who is worse than Hitler.

Username-comment synergy.

You'll have to die before they forgive all your sins, brother! So train, say your prayers, take your cyanide vitamins, and be a REAL American!

"Wait, why am I even in a Krispy Kreme?"

"Local assholes to be shocked when giant elected asshole ignores their criticism, shits on them."

Going forward Emma Stone will win every Oscar.

"Barely legal 48 year-old-tortoise babysitter seduced by 65 year-old tortoise stud"

I wrote this song a long time ago,
a real long time ago

Sigh, another MSM story pushing their blatant anti-arachnid agenda. Sad, but not un-expected. You have nothing to fear from us, and yet these stories peddle spiders as some kind of monolithic force, full of malice and capable of coordinating in complex ways like signing up for a Disqus account.

"The exports of Canada are numerous in amount. One thing they export is
corn, or as the Indians call it, "maize". Another famous Canadian was Wayne Gretzky. In conclusion, Canada is a land of contrast. Thank you."

Boston grad discovers one simple trick to strip away civil rights! Do this everyday (unless you're not white).

Well, technically it's branded as "Crystal Mexico" - A new twist on a familiar flavor.™