The one thing that gives me hope: he's too lazy and shortsighted, it's way easier to throw the blame on someone else and just go to Florida to hit the links.

Hey, at least "The King" is just completely uninspired, "The Blackhawk" is a lame-ass play on the "Windy City" which is uninspired, misunderstanding the nickname, and dumb as shit.

Granted, since it's in text, you can choose to read his comment as a sarcastic parody of a genuine comment meant to criticize rather than apologize. That way everybody wins!

"I got so much tartar, I don't have to dip my fishsticks in shit! That's,
that's actually kind of gross, you know? After that joke, I always
clarify that I'm just jokin'. I do not know how much tartar I actually
have. I believe it's the average amount. If we all took a tartar test
right now, my name would be right in…

I'm sure they'll iron out all the problems for the sequel, Slamma Jamma Ramma.

We have the beats.™

Ah, President Sandler, who won the hearts and minds of his countrymen during the debates by farting into the microphone and smashing his opponents in the groin with a variety of inanimate objects.

He's no Mr. Cool Ice.

Just as long as they remain true to the original spirit of the series.

To really piss him off give him a $20 bill and say "I know things are a little tight right now. No, I insist. Pay me back when you get a chance."

Well, he's in good standing with the KGB still…

Honestly, one of the most satisfying things I've read in this whole shitstorm is the report of a message from one intelligence official to another that began with "He will die in jail."

This is the sad conclusion I've reached as well. One only has to look at the number of comments of people gloating that "we won, deal with it." Like, people are perfectly happy to get fucked over, so long as they can make some dubious claim that their guy won and they're in power. The public has sent the signal that…

It's about ethics in video game animation!

I'll give it up for that pun, it was top shelf.

You might want to cross check with other commentators, some people might be boarding their choice comments until the right moment. No one wants to be a one-timer, after all.

I guess I can see it. Two eyes, and a mouth in the same general area… hair and a face that is relatively round… oh wait. Holy shit! I'm an emoji too.

Works for me!

"Call me Ishmael. And then the whaling began."

"After reviewing the play, the conservative justices have determined women do not have the right to choose. Therefore the previous ruling is overturned. Please reset the play clock to 1917." - Chief Justice Ed Hochuli