I think you need to be publicly stupid and maybe a touch racist, and also argue that well-actually it’s good that the income gap is growing like our ever-expanding universe. Then they’ll review your application.

You laugh, but I went in for this event last night, and was late to work this morning due to Chipotle-related digestive distress.

I don’t think I know of a single person who’s gone out of their way to watch Avatar in the last four years. It’s an okay-ish movie, but it’s not even my favorite Sam Worthington movie. It’s up there with The Mummy spin-offs and deep sequels.

#pattonoswaltwasright

If anybody was Dany’s real friend, they’d have pointed out that if you drop a 500-lb. rock from 5,000 ft. in the dead of night, nobody’s going to be able to hit you with a telephone pole/arrow and it’s gonna land like a small bomb. They’re out there watching this Coachella refugee land her dragons in the middle of…

I’ve always wondered why there’s such a thread of that in conservative circles, to the point that they’ll undermine effective measures like the nuclear deal. I genuinely don’t know what it is, my only theory is some kind of religious/cultural war for dominance, but like . . . Iran are not that dominant, outside of…

I would watch the shit out of a sequel with Donald Glover’s Prowler hanging around for a third-act face-turn, as long as they don’t Franco-Goblin it.

I’m also confused about why you’d to straight to “about to take the SATs” Spider-Man with an important mission. But also, that kid fought Thanos and (eventually) lived. He’s pretty good at everything but the “planning beyond the next three minutes” part of the hero gig.

I really need to get back into this show. 

“Gosh, Future Me must have done something terrible to her . . . that sounds pretty on-brand for me. Oh, Future Me, you big purple rascal! Murder time.”

Most of the Midwest looks covered in that map. I can’t tell what the green is from that picture, but it looks like that’s most of the traditional Eastern U.S. economic drivers, barring Atlanta. The southern states shown are mostly the Deep South, and would probably not be your first priority if you were looking to…

I definitely did not notice that.

Jesus Christ on a captain’s wafer, that’s the dumbest thing I’m going to read all day, and it’s 8:46 in the morning.

“Look at these greedy fatcats, pretending that students they see every day might benefit from more counselors and psychologists, just ‘cause they’ve got a touch of trauma.”

It looks like he spent a bunch of money on cosmetic dentistry, and exactly no effort figuring out how not to look like he’s about to commit a Law & Order-type crime in photos.

Other than the reservation lands, I think they’re already pretty much running those places. And mostly people want to leave.

If someone rides out with all 11,000 his friends and family with flaming god-swords and they get wrecked in 43 seconds, they have earned the right to go hide out and take a knee. 

They kept showing her like she was about to die. She’d give a really distressed rage noise and chop one more guy, and then go under.

Oh, man, that whole arc actually came out very well. I have no idea if they planned it that way from the start, but it works.

Literally any talk of violence from her would be met with “terrorist” or “antifa” or something similar.