Current owner here

Miatas are happy cars! Look at this one jumping with joy!

This is a stellar, insightful, and hilarious article. Representative of the best that Jalopnik can deliver. Bravo.

Case in point: they let the journos ride in the V-22, but it's still not considered safe enough for the POTUS.

Her van was part of a motorcade that included the Beast limousine, police cars, an ambulance in case of a medical emergency. Also, "bulletproof black sport utility vehicles and limousines driven by Secret Service agents who had spent hundreds of hours learning how to maneuver at high speeds." Tyson? Not so much:

Pontiac LeMans. Just look at it. You can imagine blasting down the Mulsanne Straight at 588MPH.

Haven't ridden a DS but my dad had a CX when I was a kid and it always took less than five minutes to get us all to sleep on the back seat. Only to be suddenly awakened if he misjudged the brake pressure by more than half a gram so yeah maybe not so good for drunks.

Seconded. There seems to be some misunderstanding of what "self-levelling" suspension really is. The DS was clever for its time but it doesn't have some magical system that's still unsurpassed. At times, their vertical resonance made you feel like you were going to take off.

Obviously.

Erm. You forgot something.

I mean come on.

UAE: White Toyota Landcruiser with a sticker of the Sheikh on the back window

He though he was Magnum PI, but he's really just Magnum PRNDL.

Trail Ridge Road (US 34) in Rocky Mountain National Park, Colorado. Topping out at 12,183 feet, it is the highest continuously paved road in the US.

Millau Viaduct

Knock knock!

The Daewoo Jockstrap:

Putin would have moved the entire gas station closer to his car.

The president of Turkmenistan and his Bugatti is probably the best car a politician can buy

In before Joe Biden shirtless in front of a Trans Am.