Now that the bomb squad has offered their opinions, I’m going to need the fine folks over at https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/ to weigh in with their thoughts on the matter. 

I read this in Emo Philips’ voice and it was beautiful.

Impressive comment/user name synergy. 

I hope you immediately opened a store nearby selling all manner of sanitizing materials at an incredible markup. 

I get legitimately excited for their brew pub pretzels and beer cheese appetizer. The rest of the food is standard “you know what you’re getting” stuff for when you’re in an area in which you don’t feel like searching out a great local joint but those pretzels and cheese are fantastic.

I am 100% certain the marketing started with “how can we justify setting up a tent in our parking lot so we are technically doing ‘outdoor dining’?”

It really was a perfectly cromulent episode. 

Beast deserves better! I see this:

This clip is the reason the internet exists. Porn is only second place. 

I sometimes forget it’s one of his since it’s so different in tone. Also, while it’s labeled horror, I quibble with the category somewhat. I’m not sure where I’d file it myself but horror wouldn’t be my first pick. I guess it fits in horror the same way Green Room and the average revenge flick also fit into that…

I’ll offer up Red State as a good movie, though well outside what I was expecting from one of his flicks. 

I like the idea of a Steak-umm factory error line. Too much rat dropping in this one? Send it over to the MiSteaks packager. 

Combine this with malpractice insurance for cops and unions/pension funds paying out civil suits rather than community coffers. The problems will be sorted out quickly.

When you’re in trouble for creeping on and/or assaulting teens Matt, it’s maybe best to avoid mentioning “recess” as part of your game plan. 

Starred for “street chicken.”

I did keep expecting Ass-Dan to show up. 

More Thundercats is a good thing but I’m mad he didn’t choose my screenplay for a Face/off sequel in which Stanley Goodspeed from The Rock has to go undercover as Castor Troy from Face/off. I have budgetary considerations baked right into my pitch!

Functionally though that’s like asking me why I have this hook in the place of my right hand. Sure, I may have been born without that appendage due to my mother’s tragic moth ball addiction. Or maybe I lost it driving my car too fast after a night of drinking. But to the kids I’m slaughtering at make out point it…

Make Abe Vigoda the leader is a valid answer to many of life’s thornier questions. 

I’m building my greenhouse now and will soon lord over the coffee-free wastelands like a hipster Mad Max villain. I shall be Lord Caffeine and will terrorize the wastelands from my...I’m thinking scooter? I’m not sure yet.