I hope Chris Evans’ human Buzz Lighyear’s accidentally instagrammed penis is the in-world inspiration for the development of the in-world doll that eventually gets named Woody. 

The phrase “We weren’t just delivering packages—we were delivering hope” will be Amazon’s defense at their war crimes tribunal after their eventual global coup. This coup will fail because Elon Musk will buy out Amazon mid-coup and insist every product they ship is packaged in a cardboard replica of his own face,…

I bet that vote would’ve turned out differently if someone wanted to convert that church into a mosque. I bet it also wouldn’t have been anonymous. 

Tactical Turquoise can be the name of his vanity band. 

The Depp Militia may not be the most intimidating one out there, but their innovations in tactical bracelet/scarf/dumb hat technology are unparalleled.

Dammit. Now I’m going to be slightly disappointed every time a blowjob doesn’t end with the blower tossing a flash bang. Look forward to my anonymous letter in the future!

The synergy between story and username is unsettling. 

Tomatoface sock or not, this right here is both a quality comeback and just plain awesome. Bravo. 

That does sound perfectly on brand for him. I often find him funny, but mean and petty is kind of his thing. 

It’s maybe the most profoundly stupid way in history to sabotage a movie.

I just happened to notice the date. I’ve been trying to figure out why it was linked to the article about the new Amazon Middle Earth tv casting stuff. I didn’t see Segel in the new cast listing or anything, so it’s apparently just random.

She was fantastic as Shuri. I hope she recovers from this and learns a bit. But Cheadle remains awesome. Made a joke, heard it landed wrong, clarified his stance and stepped back. He should teach a class.

I have read through this thread, which appeared seemingly randomly from 2017 in the recommended article section of another post. You’re the first 2020 comment I’ve seen and I feel like we’re time travelers stuck in the past. I also went down a rabbit hole of googling to see what happened. As of day 90 this jackass,…

That registration and affidavit are just further proof it was all a joke. You don’t make a joke about committing voter fraud funny unless you actually follow through and cast the fraudulent vote...that’s the punchline! 

Cast David Morse as the dad and I’d totally watch this show for at least two seasons. 

That first one is totally a Chuck Tingle story waiting to happen. 

“printed off a bunch of copies at Kinko’s or something”

I seem to recall an article about him writing a malicious “tell-all” type book on the AVC from the pre-kinja days. Any chance this entire reboot is an elaborate ploy on the part of the rest of the cast to lure him within beating range?