It’s morning in Trumperica. Where everyone feels like someone pissed in their cornflakes.

I have a cat named Lady Gaga. She has to wear pajamas because of her over grooming. You can feel bad for her. And also think she is adorable.

Please everyone, refrain from your armchair diagnoses. It’s obnoxious and unhelpful.

I thought it was a small dick thing, or is that just guns?

If it helps to put it in context, these people believe that interracial relationships are “white genocide” and that getting kicked off of Twitter is the same as physical death.

I’m just surprised that none of them have an AOL domain.

“Sent from somewhere over the rainbow”

I’d vote for a rip in the space and time continuum.

“Bush doesn’t care about black people.” -Kanye West, 2005.

So often pro-lifers present the issue as a choice between abortions and no abortions. It is not. It is a choice between safe, legal procedures and a fucking horrorshow of misery and desperation.

Vaguely related: I wish this were real. Take that Trump, you rotten orange peel of a hypocritical president elect.

Also, guys, I cut my hair super short today and I am worried I made a huge mistake. I’ve always had a pixie but a wispy pixie. Now I’m afraid I look like I’m ready for the internment camps Trump is probably going to use.

I started smoking again on November 8th, 2016.

Internet hugs. I am also on Jezebel way too much because I want to be informed but can’t handle news anywhere else right now, and I like being able to read and participate in non-terrible comments. I tried dipping a toe back into Slate today and they are quite doomsday-ish over there (I mean, with good reason). I…

I told myself the election would be it, I would choose working out and doing kickboxing like my hero Buffy the Vampire Slayer...

Same, strangerfriend. I don’t know if you like dogs, but here are pictures of one that likes to hug random people on the streets of NYC:

I haven’t smoked (a cigarette) in 4 years and I almost caved the day after election. And every day since. HOooooo boy deep breathing. My brain sends your brain hugs through the tubes we inter on.

Yeah, he’s a weird scapegoat in this saga. Flash back a week and a half ago and there were people all over the internet (including on this family of websites) writing pieces about how he was being way too bullish about Trump’s chances. Now, we’re blaming him for not being bullish enough...

The forces of good have defeated evil this time to make Rae Sremmurd’s “Black Beatles” the No. 1 song on the country

Have not and will never forget. Just like Dave Chappelle said, I know the whites.