I'll pay a stranger $200 to doodle on me, but ONLY if said doodle is permanent! Logic.

There needs to be at least 3 black people in a music video or else it’s racist.

No Rutgers is the back up singer who joined the band 15 years too late for their reunion tour

The Wisconsin Badgers represent the Lance Bass of our Big Ten pop group.

The Big Ten is like a 90’s pop band that has since broke up. There’s that one guy who is clearly more talented than the others, that one guy who still managed to be relevant and that other guy who got arrested for pedophilia.

Once a Ram, always a Ram.

I think that settles who will have the greatest legacy at quarterback.

This makes me happy

I once had a wart on my big toe that I named “Curt Schilling”

To be fair, Nazis and White Supremacists hate everyone.

“Tom Brady has never won a game without cheating. How can he have a legacy other than ‘cheater’. He was caught at least 8 times that I can count and, if it wasn’t for Our Lord and Savior Eli Manning, he would have 17 Super Bowls.” -New York

Actually, it is completely reliant on the day he proposed. If the proposal took place on a holiday or any time it’s accustomed to give a gift (such as her birthday) then the ring is a “condition upon engagement” AND a gift. He cannot get the ring back if it is considered to be a gift, even though it is also a…

“demanding that she return numerous gifts he gave her, include a $471,000 engagement ring.”

I wait until Opposite Day :(

I doubt Ian Fleming, a man who grew up in the 1930’s and 1940’s, would have accepted Idris Elba as James Bond. I’m all for a paradigm shift in Hollywood racial stereotypes, but Idris Elba makes no sense as James Bond to me. It’s like a rumor turned into click bait which turned into a race issue which turned into an…

Stalin Castro tried to field a ground ball by jumping into the air while keeping his glove on the ground.... If that's not an error, I don't know what is.

Don’t go to the fair, spend the $50 on a trip to the park, movie theatre and ice cream afterwards.

Because women are bad at math? Amiright!?

You’re a late-20’s mid-tier baseball pitcher who makes million of dollars and just threw a no-hitter, easily the highlight of your career. Honestly, a pajama party with your team sounds like the perfect way to celebrate.

I’m going to hold my judgement until the sentencing. He could still get 10 years when it’s all said and done, plus probably another decade or more as a registered sex offender. His life is essentially ruined.