That Brazilian got waxed

Still the second least embarrassing Degrassi reference for Candians

Stephen A Smith woulda won this time trial. He's often said that

Mom?

The cAnal logo is a bit on point

WHY THEY SPEAKIN THAT WEIRD LANGUAGE ON MY USA PHONE VIDEO? WE SPEAK ENGLISH HERE! GODDA BUILD A DAMN FIREWALL AT THIS POINT

To Alex,

Cruz? Felt like a 3 hour Detour AMIRITE?

This is too perfect

Baylor Athletic Director makes for an interesting acronym. Forget Upset Children, Kids... He is malfeasant

Not many people can claim they felt all bound up after leaving a Mexican establishment

Back in my day, when we spent a few days locked in a Mexican bathroom we called it Montezumas Revenge. Build a wall!

Just what that school needed amidst sexual assault allegations: a lifelong Grober who used to live in the Forest

*WOOOOOOOOOOOSH*

You can’t claim someone got it right when they can’t show WHAT THEY EVEN DID OR WHY?!

Were those the BU Johns to Craig James’ hookers?

Uh no they don’t

Because nothing says transparency and contrition like “some things happened, they’re bad’ish, some people might lose their jobs, we’re not sure” and then *spirit fingers*

Ted Cruz went to Baylor?

Here’s something shocking: Michigan handled a concussed QB and the actions taken by staff BETTER than Baylor handled a litany of allegations? This makes a 3 am press release look damn near professional. Dave Brandon has gotta be all “DOUBLE U TEE EFF GUYS?!”