A friend ran into her kid’s kinder teacher having a margarita one night at a restaurant, and when the kid asked, “Mommy, why does Ms. S have a margarita?” she replied, “For the same reason Mommy does, sweetheart. Just let her relax.”

I got called in for a talk with a principal because I remarked that a kid’s name sounded familiar and asked if he was signed up for a student government committee (I was a moderator and thought maybe that’s why the name sounded familiar but I couldn’t place the face). Apparently, he and his mom decided that this meant…

Yesterday you’d sleep with Justin Bieber, today you don’t like someecards. I don’t know if we can be friends.

My principal was, fortunately, very cool, so we just laughed about it, but the parent was AGHAST that her child saw a box of Tampax and a sixer of Guinness in my cart. This is the same parent who wouldn’t let their (awesome) kid play basketball because their family served Jesus. I had no idea Jesus was against…

If I was a parent at that school I’d bring her a bottle of vodka.

When I taught, I got called into the office when a parent caught me buying beer and tampons at the grocery store.

as they’re “still in the process of getting in contact with the parent who saw the posts.”

“If teachers were honest with report card comments: Jimmy continues to be an (expletive). I would like him to stop being an (expletive).”

If a PINTEREST page is the biggest worry for your child’s education, you’ve got a great fucking school system.

Sadly it’s not even close for me. I once did a postpartum home visit to find that the infant had died several days before but the mother was still bathing and dressing the little body and frantic because “She just won’t eat.” I suspect this will turn out to be something similar. Grief can do some powerfully tragic…

If you didn’t watch the video, I hate you, watch the video. It’s 30 seconds long; what kind of ADD-riddled bonobo are you?

They do that all the time. Look at any defense authorization bill.

What if they jizz all over some important documents?

so do you just like..assign them all chaperones like we’re all in regency england?

“ surround yourselves with a protective phalanx of dicks....”

ah,

Here is my presentation, they should show this:

While it is certainly disclaimed lifehacker style, this article contains some absolutely terrible advice, of which the advice sounds like it was written by a non-tech user for a non-tech user.