No No No No, not cool. ETA, what if you bite the side of your mouth, then you have wiggly lizard style tail in your mouth. Thanks for the nightmares!

OH MY GOD
What if your tongue had two little pink arms with little hands... And they would like help move the food around in your mouth and they could massage your gums... And assist in blowjobs... Afterwards it would shake its little hands for a job well done and then they'd get to work picking any pubic hair out of…

Well now I'm really disappointed that their "oven-baked sandwiches" aren't called SUBS.

Dom doesn't understand fury. But he does understand pizza.

what an invigorating soak!

A VOICE ORDERING APP

You know, I'm honestly not surprised. None of us should be.

Can I blame sriracha for this? Would there be any problem for that?

I cannot gaze upon the bottom of that tongue without visions of a well-shorn scrotum filling my brain.

Who's tongue looks like that?!?

I'm just going to share this story from last Saturday. A good money-making night- the restaurant is packed, we're trying to turn over tables. Of course half of them are fucking campers. So when another 8 top of 40 something year olds roll in, I'm begging my manager to give them to me. Bright eyed and with an imaginary…

"I really hate to be that guy and to stick up for coffee latte lady"

I've heard of that whole stack of bills on the table thing before and I literally cannot think of a better way to guarantee your food will get fucked with. Seriously, don't piss your waitress off before your food even gets to the table.

We are legit terrible.

He goes on to explain that every time a "waitress" does something he doesn't like, he takes a dollar off the stack and puts it back in his wallet. According to him, this guarantees EXCELLENT "waitress" behavior. He ends it with, "And it doesn't matter anyway, we live in [a state] where the restaurant has to pay them…

Obviously the steak fajitas had not been grilled enough. The longer you grill them, the more tender they become. Look it up.

I want a goddamn coffee latte in a goddamn monogrammed thermos right now!!!! And God help you if there's any red in there because I'm allergic to red!

Oh c'mon - this snideness of the GIF is typical Jawkezewber. For one, no one was crying. If anything, this young woman will try and build a media career on leveraging this sort of poorly constructed class syllabus, and in the meantime undermine positive teaching.

THE FACES OF DIVERSITY