Howdy.

Man, America is crazy. After this week's elections, I'm going to start my own country. With blackjack, and hookers.

Happy Friday!

I'm sooorrrry, I just have so many FEELINGS about EVERYTHING. And am just delusional enough to think others will care.

I'm doing this next year:

and marry 3 other women in a handfasting ceremony

I was really unimpressed with this year's list. I'm embarrassed for having feelings about this.

My platform at 18:

I will be attempting to woo her beginning immediately, and I will most certainly (privately) encourage her to get an abortion while (publicly) scapegoating her for doing it.

Stay calm, Vin.

Better than a 13 thousand bees

I admire your positivity in this confusing time.

As long as Tom Hiddleston remains single, I'm good

This is a very original comment. No one has ever said this before.

Just waiting for you guys to post this. It is traumatic, yes. But our hearts will go on. (She's age-appropriate and a woman of substance—that's comforting, right?)

hey! my state did something good.

If it doesn't have to be fancy, why don't you invite him to stay at your place?

I think it's just you.

Psh SOMEBODY doesn't get tHe nINeTIEs

Sometimes I find myself liking things and that's why I keep a hammer on me at all times so I can smash my dick with it to drive the good feelings away