I'm sooorrrry, I just have so many FEELINGS about EVERYTHING. And am just delusional enough to think others will care.

I'm doing this next year:

and marry 3 other women in a handfasting ceremony

I was really unimpressed with this year's list. I'm embarrassed for having feelings about this.

My platform at 18:

I will be attempting to woo her beginning immediately, and I will most certainly (privately) encourage her to get an abortion while (publicly) scapegoating her for doing it.

Stay calm, Vin.

Better than a 13 thousand bees

I admire your positivity in this confusing time.

As long as Tom Hiddleston remains single, I'm good

This is a very original comment. No one has ever said this before.

Just waiting for you guys to post this. It is traumatic, yes. But our hearts will go on. (She's age-appropriate and a woman of substance—that's comforting, right?)

hey! my state did something good.

Um, actually it's not about his penis. It's about ethics in journalism.

If it doesn't have to be fancy, why don't you invite him to stay at your place?

I think it's just you.

Psh SOMEBODY doesn't get tHe nINeTIEs

Sometimes I find myself liking things and that's why I keep a hammer on me at all times so I can smash my dick with it to drive the good feelings away

Story of my life.

But... I mean, isn't it weird to dress a child up as an accused child molester? I have conflicted feelings on that one