*final breaths in emotive French*

If a car slammed into me while I was eating a salad with the proper terroir, I’d definitely be filled with terror.

D.B. Pooper

Comic Sans, Papyrus—look, I’mma let you finish, but Bleeding Cowboys is the worst font of ALL TIME.

As a rabid C&H fan, this just made my day.

Everything CR does either elicits total love or abject hate from me. This is the former. Car ergonomics should have some standardization of key features. Among those, I’d say the steering wheel and pedals are pretty well ironed out. But maybe we should add shifters and headlights to the mix. Some things should just be…

Showed up for what I thought was an interview, was handed a hard hat and a shovel and told to dig 6 feet of red clay mud out of a culvert. For some reason I came back the next day.

Friend: So what’d you do with your February?

Tired me read your first line as “I have a Trans Am”. I was confused, though not nearly as confused as that cop sounded.

Somebody in the village should have him and others move their cars, take a bunch of professional quality shots of the street from every angle. Then the village just confiscates everyone’s phones and cameras at the beginning of their visit, the tourists wander around actually enjoy the place, and when they leave they…

*I AM THE LATEST MODEL OF THE ECHO AMAZONIAN*

When I use command prompt to quickly resolve an issue, people literally look at me like I just shot a Kamehameha out my hands.

I don’t even see the Matrix code anymore. All I see is... blonde, brunette, redhead...

In 2017 Bowie is coming back to life and happily announcing he made a deal with the Devil to let him come back and play the inauguration because of his tremendous admiration for Trump and his unironical love for the tenets of National Socialism.

“Drug chemical effects are modulated by body size. So elephants need a lot of beer to get hammered; squirrels not so much.”

A whole funeral band, knee-high to the other characters, was playing, sent from the margins of Mad magazine by Sergio Aragonés.

Fixed issue whereby body parts would sometimes remain suspended in mid-air after an enemy exploded.

And once the roofs are all done, the next low-hanging fruit would be to build canopies of solar panels over sidewalks. They would provide shade in the sun, cover from rain, they can be angled for optimum solar collection, don’t need to be up-armored, and won’t be covered by traffic most of the time.

Youtube pranksters are the fucking devil. Saleh is one of the worst; his shtick is exactly this. One of his videos is “Counting down in Arabic on a plane”. Another, posted below, is him pulling hijabs off Muslim women in public, “to see how people react”. He’s a professional asshole, another entitled YouTube piece of…