Because on launch day, I didn't know it was restricted to one, and I signed in on my friend's console. It's stuck there forever now, because he sold the thing. So now I have my own console, and I can't use my own Network ID on it, ever (I've dealt with support). That is so insanely archaic I can't even.

There are no menu options to adjust the heads-up display or reduce the amount of visual clutter on screen. Enemy AI can be sharp one minute and ridiculously bone-headed the next. You'll be able to access a far-away camera one moment, then unable to get it the next, accidentally triggering something else in the…

Things get far less enjoyable the moment Aiden gets behind the wheel of a car, and Watch Dogs spends an unfortunate amount of time on the road. We've built this great huge city, the game seems to say, and we're gonna use it! Cars handle sluggishly and lack a certain drift that I've grown accustomed to, and every car…

"Most women die without purpose," muses a villain at one point in the story, "but [this particular lady] had enough sense to die in front of the camera." But in the world of Watch Dogs, the women do die with a purpose: To grease the narrative gears with their blood, moving things forward so the men can have a new…

Only one black character gets anything resembling character development; the rest exist simply to kill or be killed, or occasionally to engage in sexual assault while on camera. Toward the end of the game, I pondered just how many of Chicago's young black men I'd helped Aiden Pearce murder. A hundred? Five hundred? A…

By the time Aiden was ramping a dirt bike through the countryside while helping a zany country guy fight off militia maniacs, I'd mostly lost interest in why I was doing what I was doing. That's a shame, since it does appear as though the people who made Watch Dogs would have liked nothing more than to have made some…

"The Vigilante" is just about the most uninspired superhero moniker I can think of, which makes sense, since Aiden Pearce is a supremely dull hero. He's a 39-year-old man in a dopey baseball cap and an overly involved sweater, more or less what a suburban dad would come up with if asked to imagine a "cool hacker guy."

You realize that the names and the information you're seeing are randomly generated and serve no real function. You'll see a person's dark secret repeat, and then repeat again, and you'll start to wonder how many Chicagoans are sex addicts. You'll read the same text message exchange twice—omg I slept with a hot guy…

"Sorry," the game replied. "You are going to shoot Maurice and that's all there is for it."

I have so many things to say, but I'm late to this party, and I don't have enough room for a full rebuttal. Sounds like the game was definitely not your cup of tea, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. A lot of the issues you have sound like they stem from the way you play the game, not the game itself.

The update Nintendo really needs to make is to its online infrastructure. I seriously, seriously can't believe it's still as archaic as it is in 2014. I can only log into one console, permanently? They have a LOT of catching up to do.

I put off playing the beta for months because browser games always seemed meh, but when I tried it I was pleasantly surprised. It looked great, controlled great, and was decently fun when you weren't fighting all-pro players.

Welp, I found Waldo, and all the usual random pervy stuff, but I haven't found Mr. Unforgettable. Where the balls is he?

This makes me sad. I miss TOR.

First off, not surprised in the least. Second...correct me if I'm horribly wrong please, but I remember hearing that gay porn was still under some kind of taboo in Japan. Is that no longer the case? Is it only certain instances?

How...how did you know!?

Japan never, ever, ever fails to disappoint. That is the youngest looking sex doll I could possibly imagine being created. Even if I wanted to go to meet one, I'd pick one that looked like it was out of junior high...at LEAST.

This was very timely, as I had a music meltdown a couple weeks ago and have been struggling ever since. I'm pretty OCD about how my stuff is tagged, and I was hoping I'd end up being able to find a program that could look at the iTunes store and use their data, but nothing I've found has done that.

The best part of April Fool's Day has long since ceased to be the "pranks"; watching people who, for whatever unfathomable reason don't figure out what day it is, freak the f out over the "pranks" is glorious.

I was giddy to be able to look for an awesome chair, then I saw the prices, and my $10 going-on-7-years chair from Craigslist is looking more and more peachy.