FFWD to 2045: “I really think today, in our time of crisis, is the day where Josh Paul transitioned from Candidate Paul to President Paul.”

Not to nitpick, but an actual Normal Person’s Guide to Training for A Marathon would just consist of “Don’t.”

by 2005 Obama was the hot new face of the party. he had delivered and ROCKED the Keynote @ the 04 convention and most of the DLC leadership was positioning themselves to combat him for the run in 2008.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but so long as we don’t have a Parliament or Congress where people are appointed proportionately to how many votes a party receives, a >2 party system isn’t going to work. All they’ll do is siphon off enough votes from one party to hand power to the other party. We are locked in a binary…

Well it’s probably not going to be an athlete.

Wypipo

An excuse for 21st century yuppies to drink a shitload since nothing in the future won’t revolve around their goddamned kids.

The BCA will absolutely leak anything negative about a white person to protect a cop. They did it in a Mankato police killing earlier this year where they leaked the toxicity report on the victim - a white man who was a school teacher.

It’s not the tint that was “too dark” :/ :/ :/

They were quick to release this body cam footage...

world’s most obvious Oberlin alum Lena Dunham

Ava gets automatic Day 1s from me until further notice. She can do no wrong.

Look, I’m not normally one to support women fighting over a dude (especially not when it’s Colin Jost) but oh my god do I want to see Leslie Jones and Scarlett Johanssen fight each other.

Every thing is dumber than the last thing.

“225 skips per second” DAMNNNNNN

Dwight D. Eisenhower? I hardly know her!

“If you’ll remember, in the 2002 World Series, Darren was a toddler acting as a bat boy (who thought this was a good idea?) and nearly got run over by J.T. Snow and David Bell as they ran across home plate on a Kenny Lofton triple to deep center”

I want all the players on one team to use each other’s names on their jersey just to confuse players and announcers.

Because there are between 3 and 4 spots available, so the percentage should be between 300% - 400% based on the expected chance the 4th place team beats the 5th place team from Asia.

I’m surprised that 1) this has never happened before and that 2) no one on ABC’s legal team could see this coming from a gazillion miles away.