Uhm. Pintos are beans, bruh. 

Give me Splash or give me death.

I mean, it’s just a really bad name. Is it not? Seriously. Like... even something like Kia GoBox would be better. And I didn’t even have access to any focus groups for that one.

If this thing listens and obeys as well as K.I.T.T. does, then - and only then - will I be okay with this name.

L L E T U R I D E

While we’re on the subject, let’s just scramble the letters a little bit, and see if there was a better option - ya know, even if those were the only letters they were allowed to use for some reason. Summon your inner scrabble champion and help me here.

Also, can someone get me out of the grey? Please. I’m basically just talking to myself here.

Okay. So I just watched some Kia-made promotional videos for this thing. Apparently it’s pronounced tell-ya-ride, which... is interesting. Tell ya ride what exactly?

How the hell do you pronounce Telluride?!

What was that crazy concept version from a couple years ago with that dank-ass manual hooked up to an electric drivetrain? Whatever happened to that experiment? That was dope. 

Uhmm. That’s not a brand new Altima.

Those two exit like salsa dancers. It’s amazing.

This picture was supposed to accompany that comment. Blue, extended cab, FX4 - in the lowest trim level possible.

Mine will look just like this.

If Yoda was reading this out loud, it would be very confusing. “Repent, do not. Die in your sins.”

Torch. Very excited. Can’t wait to see the Aston Martin Valkyrie make love to R2-D2 in the next Star Wars movie. Thank you. This might make it the best one yet.

Is this available on the ND? Link, maybe?

Nothing like the taste of coast guard crotch to lift your spirits when you’re mouth is already well seasoned with the salt of the north Pacific.

At least it wasn’t a Caterham. Oh the horror. There’d be nothing left.

Or perhaps the cat-alytic converter. Who knows?