Both versions also had vastly better Starbucks

With Hoth and Faux-Hoth they were almost halfway to a Margarita. Hopefully one of the Disney+ spin-offs will give us the Lime, Triple Sec and Tequila planets.

The problem is it just looked dumb. The Mary Poppins gags are well justified as that’s what it resembled.

Same goes for the snail’s pace bomber scene at the start of the film and the ‘Sideshow Bob fleeing in the Wright Brother’s Plane’ fleet chase throughout act 2.

Challenge accepted!

It was a nostalgia-heavy Cold War Spy Thriller set in the very last days of the aforementioned cold war. Given the next 12 years were going to be pretty dead as far as storytelling goes on the espionage front, I don’t think it was ever intended as a franchise starter. 

Whaling is a touchy subject when you’re discussing the Japanese

If I had the movie-making skills (and budget) when I was 15 years old, Atomic Blonde is exactly the movie I would have made. It’s absolutely glorious! 

Those idiots kept you employed and gave you stories to regale in bars. Show some gratitude!

Trivia fact for the day. Demi Moore was actually born in Roswell, New Mexico.

Say what?
Goddamn it. I thought Gunn was one of the good guys?

It’s also pretty obvious the naming convention is taken from albums and mixtapes which is a fairly important part of the films. They’re pretty much digging around down the back of the couch trying to find the snark.

Dog turds taste quite distinctive and that movie definitely tasted like dog turd! 

What the hell? Why am I shirtless?

Nope. Both movies are steaming dog turds. Rian Johnson needs shooting for the utterly ridiculous snails-pace bomber mission on the star destroyer and the equally slow-motion bonkers fleet chase (and resulting hyperspace kamikaze sequence). All I could think of in that sequence was Sideshow Bob escaping on the Wright…

Yeah but the internet wasn’t invented until 2004 whereas Star Wars happened a long time ago...

I agree with all those points except part of the first. The grey Imperial uniforms, the architecture and whole Triumph of the Will sense of grandeur - not to mention the fact that they have Stormtroopers - are all in keeping with portrayals of the Nazis in the movies of the post-war era*

First time round I was getting big Apocalypse Now helicopter attack vibes from the battle in Scarif until someone pointed out that Star Wars has always proudly worn its WW2 movie heritage on its sleeve (for better or worse in the case of the Last Jedi) and the tropical coral atoll setting is definitely more in…

Hell yeah. Also I’ll add that not only does the character of Dracula have form when it comes to ghoulish resurrections, but Cushing is also not the first Dracula actor to be ghoulishly resurrected himself - Bela Lugosi’s famous posthumous performance in Plan 9 From Outer Space springs to mind.

When will this madness end!?

If they did that and hired the make-up crew from The Crown, he’d have been indistinguishable!