Wade is unhappy in Chicago. Melo is getting pushed out of New York. Chris Paul is on a team that could be great if he and his teammates weren’t constantly injured.

Funny. I actually imagine an opposite scenario, in which everything falls apart and the Celtics regret acquiring Boogie.

Yeah, it’s a special car. Trust me, I know cars. It’s the best car. Really yuge car.

Sadly, I’m not sure Keith Jackson knows if he is Keith Jackson anymore.

Meh...he’s no Keith JACKSON!

The other similarity with the 94-95 team was that douche-canoe Coach K conveniently bailed on that team too, the moment he realized it was a dumpster fire like this year’s is.

(it’s a metaphor, the tree is Duke, the forest is Cameron, and Jeff Capel is a terrible coach)

I think it’s more like, “Go see what Daddy’s doing” or, “Let’s go see Mommy.”

On a serious note, the more sports people who talk about Spicer and the administration’s lying (let’s call it what it is, lamestream media), the less it can be ignored and explained away by Trump’s base.

“There were no ‘Where is Roger’ chants during the Steelers dominating victory last night, period.” #SpicerFacts

Counterpoint: Good dog.

We really need to offer workers better pawternity leave.

Which is a lot easier to do when you’re not afraid some shitty QB is going to beat you.

As for Westbrook’s take, a TV camera caught him warning a teammate (presumably Enes Kanter) not to “say what’s up that bitch-ass”

That’s why I never dunk. I totally could if I wanted to though.

So, has Harden been improving his defense by Putin in extra time after practice?

I never knew this? Colors? Wat?

You know what F*** all these guys trying to shit on this article. Tom I want to applaud you for this. This is actually truly useful advice and I as a Jalopnik reader very much appreciate it. Jalopnik writers have taken a lot of flack recently for injecting politics into their articles and yet when you come out and…

here’s a thing i have against the conventional oiling wisdom: