This is really one of those golden opportunities for me. I mean, what if I call and we really hit it off? I’m just saying what if MY call is the ONE CALL he answers out of thousands and we vibe. I feel like we would vibe, me and Jimmy Butler the professional basketball star. It would probably start slow. Like he’d…

A boat’s a boat, but a mystery box could be anything. It could even be a boat!

He had it coming.

There is nothing in the world I’m more certain of than I am that Barry Bonds has the wrist and core strength to square up a 90+ mph fastball right now.

He also made Joey Votto take this swing in his MVP season:

Look, I love Canada. They’re awesome. That being said, it’s not like they don’t have electoral issues from time to time.

Sadly, he had no idea what to do when he reached third base

By way of contrast, here’s cycling at its most just:

Why, I’ve sold concussion-free youth football programs to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and it put them on the map!