haha I also have that delusion. I always get soooo excited before a flight, imagining the handsome British man seated beside me named Tom who has a soft spot for rough-around-the-edges Canadian girls... but it's never Tom. It's always Linda, the overweight middle-aged woman who chats incessantly and loses her mind…

Yes, please lay down until that feeling goes away.

I know this ad is a joke, but can I rant about average/short women who demand that their boyfriends be at least 6 feet tall? Because it's absolutely real and common. Meanwhile, I've been 5'11" since I was 15 and I've dated MAYBE three guys who were taller than me. And I don't actually care at all anymore, but come on,…

Okay. Let's get real.

I mean yeah, it can be tough. And you can still keep supporting it, if that's what you want to do. But supporting it means that you are supporting the continuation of harmful stereotypes and problematic tropes and that as long as you do that, those things will continue to exist. Literally, they can't end if people…

I was dating a guy. Maybe not like getting married seriously, but we were definitely dating. We were also sleeping together. One night we were out drinking. He came over. We were having vaginal sex. Then he forced himself into my anus after repeated "No!"s. Several repeated forceful nos.

Is it kewpie mayo? I mix that stuff with BBQ sauce. Of course I have the common decency to eat it at home behind closed doors with all the lights off.

Occasionally, one would contact the company afte the event to say that I wasnt pretty enough. Me ... the host ... that wasnt dating any one!!

This is what happens when you praise every little thing your sons do.

I suspect that people who are putting a lot of effort into not being fat and who are depriving themselves feel furious with people who are fat and who aren't jumping through those same hoops because they resent what they have to do and sacrifice to achieve that end. God forbid some fatty actually accept themselves or…

It definitely doesn't happen as often when you're with a guy, but when I was 15 I got catcalled on the street while walking with my father. It was possibly the most uncomfortable moment of my teenage years. We both pretended we didn't hear it, but I still get a pit in my stomach thinking about it — not only was the…

"I know Barry at Burger King. Always makes it my way. I'm big time stuff there!"

I was eating snow peas from a crudite platter once and started to try to wring the individual peas out of the pod.

The first time I had edamame in a sushi restaurant years ago, I totes ate the pods. And then I was really confused about what that extra bowl was for. Whoops. Embarrassing.

I had dinner with someone who carefully peeled all the fat off her slices of prosciutto. :(

I've found that, when confronted with food you don't recognize and find baffling, the best thing to do is say, "Hey, what's this? I'd love to try it but how do you eat it?" Only the most assholish of assholes will laugh at you for your ignorance. Food is different everywhere.

Many years ago, when I was a young legal…

Not restaurant, but food related:

Here's how gross of a kid I was: I drank that oil at the bottom of the Vienna sausage can. Every time. Just typing this makes me want to hork.