“As an actual trial lawyer”

Oh, my aching optic nerves!

False equivalence. It’s like calling a physicist to offer expert testimony on physics.

Yes! One of my favorite things in the world is surprising kids by treating them like adults! Like, I love doing formal introductions, first names only, with hand shakes. They take it so seriously, the responsibility of acting like and adult, and I’m happy to include kids as part of my community. Kids are cool when…

Ya, that was what I was doing. But then real life got so shitty I have found myself actually turning to national politics to distract myself from that. Which feels kind of...fucked...

“One can simultaneously celebrate a victory and understand that victory means little without actively countering those attacks.”

Right?! Since the morning after the election I have learned so much about how my suicidal ideation works along with my depression.... Yaaaaay....?

Just a reminder that pregnancy is a preexisting condition.

Mind blown!

Oh. My. God. YES!

Ooo, burn!

Clearly that second one is Steve Bannon.

One of the only times I’ve smiled all day. Thanks!

(Saw them perform back in the 90s!)

And he’s not a stalker! He’s just being romantic! So stop complaining about his “unwanted attention”. You are just saying that to make yourself sound in-demand. Just give up and get back together already! He’s so in love, watching your every move. Women just love making up drama where there is none, amiright?

My condolences.

Was thinking Gareth from The Office...after continuing to fail upward...

“45 percent of all men aged up to 60 had some sort of HPV strain and 25 percent had one of the strains that can cause cancer. Close to 40 percent of women had any type of HPV and 20 percent had a cancer-causing strain”

Maybe a “Best Cis-Male Actor” and a “Best Non-Cis-Male Actor” category? Or “Best Privileged White Male Actor” and a “Best Second-Class Citizen Actor“ category?

And I’m right there with you. I’ll take your Michael Meyers and raise you a Jaws: