Two kittens sleeping close to me would also be highly interested in this pool.

Wow it’s dusty in here

😢😢😭😭😭

I would like to know where this special puppy-oriented six-inch-deep swimming pool is located. A few cats of my acquaintance might find this of interest.

I blame the English language. It’s not Natasha’s fault that “All you can eat” can be singular or plural (and boo to Denny’s for taking advantage of the ambiguity). This wouldn’t have happened in Shakespeare’s day. When the tavern had an “All thou canst eat” special, everybody knew it only meant thee, not thy whole…

I hope more than anything ever in my life that she was paid to be there. Not only because that means Trump has to pay people to make him look like he has diverse support but also because she was paid to give zero fucks and read her book. Can she start a book club? Can we pay her to sit and read during all the GOP…

Thank you. I had zero desire to watch this train wreck, and now remain fully committed to my boycott. We all owe you a drink for taking one for the team.

Sure. She COULD have done that. But ballers gonna ball.

Note to self: shred, then BURN.

Say what you will about Lady Gaga, but that looks comfortable as fuck.

maybe he didn’t apply to west point because he thought it was mainly used as grain storage?

Calling protests counterproductive is having a very narrow view on this. The protests represent more than just against Trump. These protests can be used as a call to action. The loud “fuck you” heard after the rapist and murderers comment was because people are no longer taking this lying down. It may be…

I stab people daily! And if elected President, I promise to keep stabbing!

It just goes to show you that people who work in medicine should never get into politics.

Like when I read Dianetics in 9th grade and thought “Why hasn’t someone told me this truth before??”...

Everybody ready for an embarrassing confession? I loved Gifted Hands as a young teen, because wow, a young black man, bootstraps, overcoming obstacles, strong maternal influence, medical school, neurosurgery, wow.

All about that evangelical vote: the bigger a fuck-up you were, the better your redemption story sounds. Just like how Bush II made no secret of the fact he was a raging drunk before he accepted Jesus into his life.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M MAKING THIS UP!? I REALLY DID STAB SOMEONE FOR CHANGING THE CHANNEL ON THE TV! NOW ELECT ME PRESIDENT DAMMIT BECAUSE I HAVE A CALM DEMEANOR THAT WILL GUIDE OUR GREAT NATION TO PROSPERITY!

Did I wake up in some alternate universe in which presidential candidates WANT people to believe they’ve stabbed someone and hit their mother with a hammer?? I’m losing my mind right?? Are we dead??