He was sooo close to having a point that maybe phone polls aren’t a super accurate way to measure modern America, and then he couldn’t help but rage-piss himself with his “SJW” nonsense. 

If you really cared about border security you’d be at the border building the wall yourself instead of shitposting on the internet.

Barack Obama called. He said that you’re a stupid fuckface and that he’s been plowing your mom. 

They didn’t ask because nobody gives a shit what you think.  Nobody likes you, if you died nobody would notice or care.  You’re a loser screaming into the void but the only thing you’ll ever hear back is “fuck off!”  You'll expire sad and alone, and the world will be a tiny bit better for it.

I can’t wait until the next Democratic president declares a national emergency, seizes all of the assets of the for profit health insurance companies and sets up medicare for all. 

“The results speak for themselves” Sarah is right but not for the reasons she thinks 

“I’m not a baseball fan and don’t follow the sport”

You’d think the MAGAs would be thrilled that finally someone is getting locked up because of Hillary’s emails.

Is it possible to OD on schadenfreude? Asking for a friend.

Every time she starts a sentence with “Look", what comes next is a lie. Every time.

Few things here, if you don’t want people to think you are racist, don’t were a MAGA hat. If you think, oh, that could be my son, you need to raise your children to be better people. And lets not forget, this whole thing happened because a Catholic high school decided to take a bus full of teenage boys to a protest…

I think the persecution of teens like this is really getting out of hand. Between the Covington students and this it’s starting to look like the only place for teenagers to be racist is every single comment section on the internet, the entirety of social media and whenever you play any video game online. 

I don’t think we should comment until we see the WHOLE game.

The only person who saw all this coming was Tony Romo. 

Listen. I’m in love with AOC just like everyone else (seriously... SWOON), but she is dead fucking wrong about something.

This horrible photo will follow him wherever he goes. Even though he will, like every other white man, fail up; I take a little bit of hope in the fact that this will slow his failing up just a bit. I hope that the girl he pines for will never date him because of this photo, and he settles for some off brand Real…

Rose then excused himself to huddle with his brand manager, Trevor Bauer.

Relax Donnie, it’s just locker room talk.

Yes, you, a single person who went to this place occasionally put this place on the map, all by yourself, because your level of influence is just that monumental. Also you’re right, they’re rejecting your child specifically - it is a slap in the face to you! Also, you and your child are the most important people in…

*Small violin plays for man who chose not to use a condom*