Just wait until he's 17 and goes through the mini-hotep phase.

I know of exactly one person who got samonella from raw eggs and he was a body builder who literally swallowed raw eggs (6 daily), and tbh I’m not confident it was the eggs exactly bc he ate all kinds of questionable stuff and was kind of gross. Doc blamed the eggs when he heard about it though, which was fair.…

This is not really embarrassing but it was a holiday party challenge for me and may provide some seasonal cheer.

Ugh. It pains me to say this, but Robyn’s comeback has been such a let down. :( 

I always scroll past the tweets. I always hated the sound of trumps voice, but now I can’t even read his repulsive words. The man is toxic.

It’s always astounding to me how many otherwise intelligent people I know who think that “Mercury in retrograde” actually affects anything at all. Oh wait, it’s depressing. I meant depressing.

And Jason Momoa just went on my to-don’t list. I have hundreds of books and if anyone (who wasn’t a child) deliberately harmed one, there would be blood.

If they actually purchased $1.5 million in face value debt for $12,500, this must have been the worst sort of garbage zombie debt that the original creditors had long since given up on collecting and was being traded for pennies on the dollar by scam artists. 

Goddammit another misleading headline: totally thought this was going to be a Mr. Robot style hijack and am disappointed it’s just workaday folks doing good things for strangers. Borrrring!

Since I might as well name names, Nancy Pelosi offered a friend of mine $20k (before taxes!) for an entry level position. In 2015. My friend could not take it. Some college grad who had monetary help from family did.

Former Hill staffer here...

Check this lil’ fella

My middle school guidance counselor said I’d never finish high school because I didn't have great grades. Not only did I finish high school AND college, but I have a graduate degree with work experience in all three branches of the federal government. I went ballistic when she and another teacher who bullied me tried…

Yeah seriously. I give it a year, tops. But then I’m a cynical bitch and these two look like the type (narcissists) to put more effort into the wedding and endless pre wedding events, than their actual relationship. So far I’ve counted an engagement party, trip to India to meet her family and celebrate the engagement…

I think it’s important to recognize that these texts weren’t meant to be public. It’s okay to be privately frustrated that this is dragging on and could (at least, based on what she thought at the time) be ended.

Laneige is the best thing to ever happen to my perma-chapped lips (thanks accutane!)

There are four movies! The 4th is 13 Going on 30 (the dollhouse section with the good Jennifer Garner middle part wig).

They need to change their name to Dick and Dick because they’re a bunch of dicks!

So my wife and I text animal noises to each other all the time - most frequently “meow” or some variation. Multiple animal noises usually signal we are especially excited about something.

hi hello sorry i’m a few days late but thank you. holy shit, the comparison to big bang like... yes, big bang carved a path. bts followed it, expanded it, and did it while learning about cultural appropriation and why it’s bad.