Good story but you said Steve and Anna were in the car that crashed, but then that Steve had left a wife? Was Anna his wife but she didn't die in the accident or was she someone else?

If you want to make something at home, sorrel is your friend! Twice I’ve made a rum-optional drink with it and found the rum needless. See this one from serious eats, which has the tartness of the sorrel, burn from ginger, and only as much sugar as you want.

Content warning: child abuse

So her letter that she posted in a private Facebook group is her public white savior action even though it has no racial dynamic, because you can make up a different narrative around it that does have a racial dynamic? That’s what you’re going with?

This story would be portrayed quite differently if Dorland was not white. If she were a WOC, others would be bending over backwards to defend her from appropriation and theft of her voice, her story, her experiences, exploited for profit by someone else without her permission. Every one of us knows it.

The desire for…

I read the piece that you linked that explained the backstory of your essay here. This stood out:

Understandable- this piece was so vague about actual details that I went to the NYT and found them (https://www.nytimes.com/2021/10/05/magazine/dorland-v-larson.html). Halfway through the Jez article I had to look for details, came back and finished reading this, and apparently blanked on which article had which info.

I don’t really get the snark about Harry getting jobs. Aren’t these the kinds of jobs most rich people get to stay busy and contribute, to find meaning and purpose in their lives? Harry clearly wants his life to mean something. He craves meaning, contribution, and belonging, just like most of us do. People with his…

I'm with you, but there is one for whom my hatred is equal. Her name is Betsy.

It goes along with my theory that while branded as a space to embrace creativity, Pinterest is actually where creativity and unique expression goes to die.

If you don’t know what a passive-aggressive relationship with your in-laws can be like, I hope that you will never find out.

Well, the thing about real-life monsters is that they don’t advertise it, and they typically manage to convince an amazingly large number of people that they are actually sweet and friendly and that you are the mean and crazy one because you think otherwise.

I totally agree with you re: getting over it and making a list, and that gift-giving is a skill or a talent some people are naturally better at. That’s what we do in my family. I took exception to the idea that the way letter writer felt about this was wrong and she was ungrateful. Her feelings are valid. I feel the…

Some people don't want to fix unhealthy relationships, because they know the healthiest way for said relationship to possibly exist is from a safe distance.

I am in the *exact* situation as the writer. Yes I know logically that being hounded for ideas (by both sides of the family) is rooted in kindness and generosity. But last year when my husband privately thanked *me* for the gift *his* mother purchased (it was a really good idea, and I gave it up out of kindness, and…

Not everyone is good at gift giving, it’s a true talent you have.

Why not ask their own son, though? Why always ask the woman? If you’re writing anecdotally, I’ll reply so, in that women have to deal with these things from their in-laws when their husbands should handle it. She’s not his keeper nor his secretary.

Not all families work the same way. In some families, this isn’t “doing something nice”. In some families, this is codependent and/or manipulative. 

Arlie Hochschild coined the term “emotional labor” and clarified her thinking around its use in this article in The Atlantic. While she originally meant managing feelings for a job (flight attendants, expected to be cheerful and calm) and agreed that the term has gained a use she didn’t originally intend, she…

We don’t know the whole story. Maybe she’s got meddling, manipulative in-laws or maybe they’re perfectly lovely people. To say she’s ungrateful seems a bit judgmental.