A shark-filled tornado? The list of things I’ve heard now contains everything.

I think a movie like this or The Core could work if they just make it over-the-top balls-to-the-wall batshit insane, like some sort of shark-filled tornado.

Shut up. It’s not easy for women to come out with stories like this. Reliving the whole experience is painful enough. Then actually talking about it worse. Not too mention that if you’re the only person, no one would believe you. We know that as a fact. So shut the fuck up. These people are survivors and when they…

There should be an Inventory list of “worst movie serial killer origins”.

This is probably scarier than the movie...

“Basically, the illegitimate child of an abusive cop is building a snowman the day his mother commits suicide, leading that child to grow up to be a serial killer who cuts off his victims’ heads and puts them on top of snowmen. (Seriously.)“

Praise makes me uncomfortable.

Any Republicans tired of being complete hypocrites can speak up any time now.

They’ll talk about what a terrible event this is, that we need unification as a country, and then when people ask for reform they’ll look aghast, eyes wide, and tut their tongues that anyone would have the insensitivity to try and politicize such a tragedy.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT WHY DO YOU KEEP REFUSING TO SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER

The “everything happens for a reason” rationalization, in contexts like these, makes me incandescently furious. So, what — God’s plan was that a child should die horrifically, that the child’s family should be shattered, that the life of the driver be shattered, so that some moppet across town can get a heart…

“I’m J. Thomas Candycorn, and I’m gonna tear down this Halloween to build a parking lot for a mall! *Mahler’s Piano Quartet in A minor starts playing, two B-Boy suit-wearing lawyers dance around* Any objections?”

“Wait, how are you gonna tear down Halloween?”

“That’s the level of intellect this writer have.”

I am predicting beards will be allowed by the end of 2018.

You don’t have to worry about this movie being out of date in a few years. It timeless. Just like Fear Dot Com (whose movie tie-in website was actually www.feardotcom.com).

It seems that Snapchat would make for a better horror movie. The monster could send the hero threatening snaps but nobody believes them because that person is so nice and everything and the snaps disappear before anybody else can see them. With the online stalker angle and harassment it could really speak to a lot of…

Dispiriting but unsurpising. Of course people who regularly confuse money for merit, cheating for cleverness, rudeness for honesty and a lack of impulse control for courage are going to confuse a lack of class for a lack of elitism.

I mean obviously the primary focus of episode should be the Bea and Bojack relationship but can we just spend a minute on the Jesus Christ Hollyhock is Bojack’s sister!

The “Holy shit, how long have you been saying it like that?” granite joke was one of those stupidly real bits that keeps a show this zany grounded in a semblance of real relationships. I cracked up.

The three of them look happy together.