Ainsley Earhard, COVID-19 Quarantine - Day 28:

I’d like to start a GoFuckYourself fund for vAinsley. 

For the record, Wiley hasn’t yet taught himself to flush.

I don’t think you fully grasp the implications here. That’s his toilet now. You get the litter box.

Or we could wait for them to just grow up like every generation before them. Just because these morons think they are the first young people in existence doesnt mean anyone has to humor them. I can’t wait for them to have kids and for their kids to start inevitably shitting on them.

call us “murderers” or “voting for people to die” or “having no compassion for the poor” for not voting for Bernie.

Same, same, same. Right down the line.

There have been Sanders supporters who don’t play nicely with others on the internet, who don’t realize that sneering at others who generally agree on many of the same lefty issues is not productive, who revel in the clout that comes with embarrassing some verified Twitter user over a lukewarm Sanders take. And I…

This is also true. Some of the shit about Bernie Bros is overblown, but watching the way Warren got shit on in the stretch run of this campaign by Bernie supporters, culminating with Bernie supporters absolutely astonished that she was hesitant to endorse him was really something.  Like, you really have to take a step…

This honestly isn’t true, because the demographics Sanders has staked his campaign on are unreliable voters. They couldn’t even carry him to the Democratic nomination, much less carry him to victory in a general election. Frankly, as much as it pains Bernie’s fans to hear, Biden has more of a chance of appealing to…

So Bernie lovers might not get their candidate on the ballot in November.
Sure, it’s a bit of a bummer.
BUT when the ultimate choice comes down between an actual human with the capacity for empathy, the ability to take responsibility for his actions and admit when he’s wrong, and a genuine interest in trying to do…

Bernie’s supporters always seem to approach his candidacy as if it’s an inherent reality that young people are better, or more worthy, or more valuable. Votes, in the end, are valuable, and all people are valuable, as everyone’s effort to shelter and protect the elderly happens now. WHY does Biden need to win over…

About a month ago, I was at CVS and they had cute little hand sanitizers in fun scents like gummy bear and donut. I bought a dozen of them because I thought they would make cute little “add-on” gifts. I am, to say the least, thrilled that my childlike glee in candy-scented items paid off.

Toilet Paper and Hand Sanitizer Wipes.

Toilet Paper and Hand Sanitizer Wipes.

One of my co-workers was at Costco yesterday and in front of him in line was a guy in his 80's with a cart filled to the brim with just ice cream and wine. He’s doing it right.

Our first woman president will be a VP who steps into office because one of these old white men kick off. It’s really depressing that’s where we need to start, but I’m beginning to think there’s no other way.

My old firm had a case where she was opposing counsel 10+ years ago. She was super annoyed because we filed an Emergency Motion in a divorce case where she represented the father. She called up our office to make sure we know how mad she was and just went off. The partner let her rail and then said, “Okay, okay, but…

He is a total piece of shit. Unless I’m completely missing something, his life brings nothing to this world but pain and suffering for others. He could spend every waking hour of the day, every day for the rest of his life (while carefully supervised) volunteering in an orphanage, scrubbing floors and toilets in a…

I mean, she’s practically begging for it.