*shifts around uncomfortably

The woman is really not the most articulate individual I’ve ever encountered.

Wishing you the best.

Hearts would be growing two sizes all over the land.

A cat sure as fuck wouldn’t let trump feel it up either.

Man that’s fast.

The top one is simply magnificent!

Seriously. Write a new story. Think of the difference it could have made.

I hate Kristy’s parents now.

Well, I have to ask. How can you stand to still be friends with this person?

What an asshole.

One of the other caregivers remarked to me, “I swear, the bats are what the Sisters come back as!”

I once worked in the retirement wing of a convent. Being the grand old building it was (belfries and such), that place was PRONE to bats, so much so we had to keep a bat net in the nurses’ station. There was one Sister in particular who was good at catching the bats and we always called her when it needed doing. The…

They’re cool little creatures, and actually less prone to rabies than we tend to believe. Also, they eat mosquitoes.

Masterful.

What, exactly, is so grueling about owning a mailbox?

Sounds like a real classy neighborhood.

My sister has five boys, and it’s always Lord of the Flies in her house 24-7. I can’t imagine 14.

That menu is a lot better than either of them deserved. I just looked up tropezienne and am now feeling slightly obsessed.

Lock. The motherfucker. Up.