When I was 20 I went to dinner with John Hodgman at Katz’s and he made fun of me for being poor basically the ENTIRE TIME. This is not a good story but it is the only time a celebrity was a dick to me except for when boyfriend at the time yelled at Kiefer Sutherland “I loved you in Flatliners!” and he was like “go…

That’s actually cool these megalomaniac fucks didn’t just embalm they pets tho

Aversions to texture seems to be a real thing above and beyond just general babyish attitudes. Lucky for me only averse to fatty meat parts and water chestnuts so I can seem adult, but plenty of people are grossed out by a variety of textures. It seems weirdly acceptable to hate anyone with texture issues but surely…

I eat almost everything but really can't do the texture of an omelette and quiche is just so unhealthy anyways it's easy to avoid. This doesn't really seem THAT weird to me and I like huitlacoche, sushi, and every vegetable except water chestnuts and red peppers.

Cutest rule ever.. I think I love your mom.

I understand (and loathe) the level of entitlement of most people alive in the US today but I can't get behind the idea that asking for a customization at a restaurant is an unreasonable or childish thing. The entire point of a restaurant is they make food to order for money! Am I really am asshole if I don't want x y…

But mom sounds so sweet.. poor mom :(

“This isn’t Burger King” really? No it’s a place filled with hopefully higher paid and more skilled cooks and service people than the 16 year old at McDonalds. God forbid we ask these professionals to customize a meal. Sure inventing your own meals or asking for bacon at a kosher restaurant is obnoxious but this…

I recently found a hair on my cheek and realized I am old! I am embarrassed of how long it was when I noticed. I am now my grandmother (may she rest in peace, with skin as nice as she always had). JK my pores are awful too.

To be fair this is a very elaborate joke on someone’s coworker, as such I have to give it an A+.

As an adult I often CHOOSE to stay in the car. It bothers my husband who would prefer I trail after him like a puppy or something. Luckily driving is rare for us or certainly this would be a wedge driven between us, or perhaps a deathly decision on my part some time.

Did you know that maxi dresses are comfortable when the humidity is at 98% and the temp is between 80 and 102 degrees?

Unfortunately I don’t think being culturally insensitive and largely ignorant of the world around you counts as racism. Somehow I doubt the girls would be better behaved in a non asian restaurant (they sounded pretty tanked).

I live in NYC so on the rare occasions I eat out it’s almost certain there will be one or two things on the menu that I have no clue about. For social situations I feel no obligation to research a menu beforehand especially if I have no say. And this is from a person who turned making a sous vide cooker into a weekend…

Dunkin donuts rules. You can get exactly the mediocre coffee you can tolerate at a good price exactly the way you want it. It’s a good system that also embraces the middle class. I love dunkin donuts even though I could never call its coffee “good”.

BTW white chocolate sucks so I’m fine with dumb dumbs pretending it doesn’t exist. White chocolate = sugar.

Rent is like 1300 for a one bedroom even in Hollywood. Duuuuhhh.

I feel like there is something so innately instinctual about sports that it’s easy (and probably fair) to call foul when it becomes so clear that athletes are using their minds instead of their mindless rage and desire for dominance. The rules of certain games make a tricky move a pleasure, but for some games most…

I’ve been considering doing one of these because I’m super curious how i’d look with a full face (I use face powder because I hate how greasy I am and own a few lipsticks for the 3 times year I should be “dressy”) but jeez that sounds stressful and I live nearby so maybe just tomboy style for life.

The bong I loved best: a boyfriend’s friend’s bongs that he had to keep elsewhere because his long term girlfriend was fed up with his stoning.