I am going to leave my house for reasons beyond work and occasional family obligations. 2015 is going to be MY YEAR.

I don't think she really cares about the fraud, though.

I just want to note that technically I'm in bed right now but that's mostly because I live in a shit apartment and this is one of two furnitures to sit on and I definitely will be having insomnia all New Years and not asleep.

Martha is a gangster all right.

Dogfish head has a couple of really good ones. I experienced a tasting of a ton of their beers including two or three gluten free ones, you wouldn't know it's a gluten free beer at all.

I did not realize that the lint trap needs to be cleaned every time before you dry your clothes. Is this a certain kind of dryer? Don't worry, I don't have one at home to ruin, but 2-3 times a year I do some laundry at someone's house and would like to not ruin their dryer.

I would really like to know what both parties thought mozzarella means.

I have a weird food allergy and the testing process as of like ~20 years ago is "huh, so you can't breathe if you eat that. Don't eat that."

The late 80s were a time of very goofy MC names. Q tip rules.

Maybe it's candy lips!

I've had very good ranch. It was some kind of buttermilk ranch with a lot of Parmesan.. oh man. I used to hate on ranch but no longer!

It's Manhattan, the only good thing you can get for under $500 is a slice of pizza (a full pie is probably 6 or 700).

The only good thing to come out of tumblr feminism is that I now know how deeply cool Nikki minaj is. Great campaign.

Are my in laws gonna hate me post wedding? They're really excited I'm marrying their stupid son right now. Maybe my days are numbered though.

Wait, not everyone can see the magic eye stuff?? Can that possibly be true?

Perhaps this person has chronic depression? Lol sounds like me.. I love you, friends... ;(

Completely ridiculous that a man has been intimate (physically and presumably emotionally!) with at least four women over the course of over two decades.

I was also never a proper "pre teen". I look forward to early menopause!

Thank you DELiA'S for inspiring my eating disorder. RIP.

lol 16% :( thank god its free for every american and easily scheduled to boot, or i bet no one would get one!