I’d ask Admiral Ackbar to weigh in before I did something like this.

Cheer up. You probably always make the short list.

I never get picked for anything.......

That comment must have felt like a gunshot to the gut for Scalise..............Oh, wait. 

“You don’t understand, That’s different!”

If you get a government paycheck, you are a Socialist. If you are a government contractor, you are a Socialist. If you collect government benefits, you are a Socialist.

I loved this (from NYT):

Does the transmission come with a Maximum Overdrive?

Filed to: Have no use for this / want it anyway

I’m going with:

As someone who was a kid in the early ‘80s I have to agree.

Look on my works, ye Mighty, and point and laugh.
—Trumpymandias

Keep your money, ‘cause you ain’t getting mine. That’s a sucker bet. Of course she thinks she’s a Christian.

I’ve got 50 bucks that says Crystal Minton thinks of herself as a Christian.

Yesterday I saw him referred to as Agolf Twitler.  I don’t know if that’s a new one; if not, I don’t know how I’ve missed seeing it so far.

Guys. Guys. Guys. I just saw one better than “Mango Unchained.” Ready?

With every passing day I still can’t believe that our nation’s election system, and millions of absolute brain dead idiots somehow made this asshole president. 

“Why was the president breathing like this?”

To get our hopes up. 

Not only that, but this part: