“Some individuals” — *death glare in Parker’s direction*

HIS BONER WAS JUST THAT IMPORTANT.

Oh, he was just leaving so she really didn’t chuck him out.

“I was going to leave anyway,” says the guy in the very expensive seats who felt the need to ruin the show for everyone else.

“Neither of them has used her power for good...”

Wow, of all the circumstances to not offer bail, an armed domestic abuser who has already kidnapped and tortured his wife once is it. Absolutely ridiculous.

I gasped. I forget that 15 is still a child. I’m trying to picture a girl TWO YEARS YOUNGER than this girl, being grilled on the stand by the defense.

I have no doubt she knows the salaries. That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true that there’s “no problem.”

Well, ok, but if men and women are making the same amount of money now then men no longer have to pay on dates!

I’m starring all these fucking puns but I’m also very angry at all of you

god DAMMIT

This is so tortured, I love it.

Does she have the one cure for crime? No way - she has MANYcures.

You might say she’s tough as... nails.

Don’t get cuticle with me...

Wow, she really nailed him.

Is this for real? This has to be a joke, right? WTF did I just read?

I got flaccid when you said “flaccid.”

My university department just had a meeting about trigger warnings / safe spaces yesterday.

thank the heavens that I have a spouse who somehow perceives my mishmash of features as attractive, not sure how that happened).