It won’t. Eric Garner. Also on film. White cop, black victim, Fox is already firing up the spin machine. We’ll be hearing about this murder victim’s 1974 jaywalking conviction by the end of the day.

This cop will make a fortune on Go Fund Me.

Aubrey Plaza, because then we would get too drunk and realize we were meant to be together FOREVER.

Oh my god, John Waters would be glorious.

Helen fucking Mirren.

All of these are incorrect answers. The correct answers are John Waters and Carol Burnett.

You know what else fits over the webcam on your computer? Electrical tape. Duct tape. An old wad of gum.

I hope you’re wrong.

“I’m so darn sick of these one-and-done senators.” —Bo Ryan

“ Fox News for a full hour....”

yeah being white in chicago got me from what would have been a 30 over ticket to some angry impotent cop yelling.

how to get away with broken turn signals:

I love this quote:

Nice start Chris Wallace. Now apologize for joining Fox "News."

Kris actually owns a church. I assume that’s the one they went to.

Ah yes, a lovely way to celebrate the Holy Week.

So he really wants to make all decent people hate Christians, right? That's the only logical explanation.

Ha, I also feel like Jesus wasn't this much of a dick. :-)